Before she gave birth, everything was fine. We didn’t have to do much for her to get satisfied. Three or five minutes into the action, she would be shaking. She would give a soft moan to tell me she had gotten there. After that, she would relax and let herself go, as if to say, “I’m there now. Do whatever you can to also get here.

Those were the happy days. I could decide to be a two-minute man and still be enough for my wife. She had no trouble.

After our child, things changed drastically. Now, it takes several minutes and a lot of work for her to get there. I realized at some point that I couldn’t go that far so I started asking questions; “What more should I do? Do you have any style you think will help you get there quickly?”

She had no idea and didn’t even know what has changed.

When we do it and she doesn’t reach Jericho, she would yawn all night and get angry over little things. Baby will cry and she won’t mind. I don’t mind, I will wake up and take care of the baby but she would stay up complaining and talking about how selfish I’d become; “These days it’s all about you. You don’t care about my happiness. I will stop doing it with you if that’s how it’s going to be every day.”

I’m trying. I’m not the aphrodisiac kind of guy but one day I had to try it. I worked all night until I got there. I didn’t stop. I kept going until I became flaccid inside of her but that was the point my wife was asking me to push harder. Immediately I got flaccid, she pushed me off and started kicking me with her legs.

She could get angry to the extent of not cooking for the house, just because I did not make her ‘come’.  I’ve been frank with her and have agreed to seek medical care but she thinks all is well. I’m the one who needs medical care because my performance has taken a nose dive.

Please, I need help before she throws me and my baby out of the house one day because I wasn’t able to satisfy her. Has anyone been in this situation before? What helped? Our child is a year and a half. She didn’t deliver through normal birth. It was CS so it makes me wonder how she could go through such a problem.

—James

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