My wife and I have been married for three years now. We got married while were both in our final year in college. It was a big step we took, and we’ve since been awesome together. I don’t regret taking that leap of faith. She doesn’t too.
After service, getting a job has been a nightmare for me. I had a thriving start-up business right before we got married. It didn’t bring a lot of income, but we were content. Unfortunately, COVID-19 totally crumbled the service business I engaged in.
And ever since, I have been teaching in a private school. While I am thankful for the opportunity, I don’t earn enough money to live decently with my wife. We are barely surviving depending on what I bring home.
Now, this is why I am here with my story. Ever since we got married, my wife has been unemployed. It isn’t that she went looking for a job and didn’t get one. She just hasn’t made any effort to look for a job, let alone get a job.
Interestingly, she doesn’t even need to apply for jobs to gain employment. The course she studied in college was a skilled profession. She basically can work just by looking for clients. She’s in the beauty and massage profession.
She’s really good at what she does. So I was surprised when I realized that she didn’t want to work. I didn’t have a problem with it at first. Even if I did, I wouldn’t have been able to complain about it. Not when she conceived two months after marriage.
I told myself, “This is her first pregnancy. Maybe it’s hard on her. So I will give her time till she delivers. I knew that she was not a lazy person. So if it was within her power to work and support me, she would do it.
In this current climate, with the way inflation has driven our economy, my meagre salary is no longer enough to support us properly. Our baby is now two years old so our expenses keep going high.
What I want more than anything is for my wife to engage in work. I need her to complement me financially so that we can raise our family together. Although she doesn’t complain when there’s no money, it bothers me. Sure, she will ride with me through hailstorms, but with her help, we can avoid certain difficulties.
Some of our problems will go away if she finds some clients. How can I tell her something like this? Just so you know, we have an open communication policy. We talk about everything. However, this is a very sensitive topic for me.
I don’t want her to feel like I don’t appreciate everything she does at home for our child and me. The work she does to keep the home running is tremendous. And to be honest, if I had a good job, none of these would matter. I would have shouldered the financial burden alone and allowed her to be a housewife. This is because I know how difficult it is to take care of a child and a home. I believe it is even more tedious than working a nine to five.
This is why I don’t want to hurt her feelings at all when I discuss this with her. And it’s the reason I need help from the readers of this page. Has any of you handled or know how to go about this whole conversation? I don’t want to look ungrateful in her eyes.
I love her, and the last thing I would want is to hurt her feelings and reduce her to nothing. We have forever to go, and I can’t afford to alter that with my way of handling this situation. It’s aftermath could be grievous. I don’t want that. Please, how do you suggest I go about this whole conversation with my wife?
I’ve Thought About How To Blame God
And also, let me use this to appeal to the readers. If anyone has a job offer or knows someone or an organisation that can offer me a job, please help me. I just want to get a decent job so I can be able to take care of my family. It’s not easy being a family man and can’t provide for your family’s needs.
It saddens my heart anytime I am not able to provide some basic needs for my family. I have a first degree in Business Administration from one of the public universities in Accra, but we now live in Kumasi. I am versatile and trust me, I learn really fast. If anyone would or could help, they may comment and I would reach out to them or contact the admin of the page so we pick it up from there. Thank you.
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Communication is the key, engage her to understand your situation, assist her with some of the house chores so she will get enough time to decide on this, some women have more than one child but yet work to support their partners.
In this poor economy, even those with good jobs are complaining let alone being a pupil teacher.
It’s not easy at all but we’re all managing. Discuss with her and be ready to assist her. I know God has the right time for us all
Massa next case
The trick is to ask her to manage the finances of the household. Be transparent. Take what you need for transport and lunch at work, and give the rest to her to manage, using some excuse. Reality will dawn on her, and she might volunteer herself.
My friend communication is the key. Because you don’t communicate your worries she thinks all is well. She is a good woman so she will definitely understand you.
Why not find her a client from her field and tell her about it? How she reacts to it will let you know how to proceed going forward…best wishes