My wife has never given me a gift for the past six years we’ve been married. When I ask her to buy something for me, she’ll bring it home and collect her money, however little the money is. Sometimes, I pretend I’ve forgotten but she’ll ask about it in the morning, in the afternoon, and wake me up at dawn to ask why I haven’t paid back her GHC60.
She’s gainfully employed but I don’t ask what she does with her money. I pay everything there’s to pay in this house while she keeps her money for whatever she wants.
I buy her beautiful things. I can send her a link to a wig and ask if she likes it. If I see a beautiful dress on Instagram, I take a screenshot and send it to her. Immediately she goes like, “I love it. It will fit perfectly” I’ll order and have it delivered directly to her. When she sees things she wants, she takes money to buy them. She’ll take a loan from me and will never pay. When I ask her she’ll tell me, “You’re not even shy that you asking your wife to pay back a loan. Why are you my husband?”
Every loan I give to her, I count it as a bad debt.
It’s getting to me. I feel she doesn’t love me. She sees me as a providing machine and not a human being who needs to be provided for. Her behaviour makes me scared that if one day I become incapacitated, she won’t spend a dime on me. When I talk, she tells me, “Just be incapacitated and let’s see what will happen.”
Six years ooo. Six good years, this woman hasn’t bought me even a pair of socks. She bought a painkiller for me on her way home and the next morning she told me, “Your headache is gone so my money is no longer your headache, right?”
My question is, is it a lack of love that makes her treat me this way or she simply doesn’t know how to give? If it’s the latter, then why isn’t she ready to learn? Why doesn’t she listen to me when I talk to her about it? I used to not care but now I’m scared!
—Hubert
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
Sometimes people learn the hard way. Arrange with a trusted friend (female or let a male pretend to be female) to deliver you a wrapped gift. Now, call the person in the presence of your wife and act as if it’s one of the best things that has ever happened to you. Call them again the next day and 2 more times to thank them. Make sure to use that gift so your wife sees it almost every time.
The rest is history. You can thank me later
Story of my life….he came back from UK without buying a pin for me….but please have a chat with her….she is with you to help you go through life and likewise….let her know how little things make you happy… a bar of chocolate or even something smaller….
You are married to a narcissist. They don’t have the capacity to love or feel empathy. Everything is about them. You own them everything but they don’t feel any responsibility towards you. Study more about narcissistic personality disorder and come and thank me later.
Communication is the key.
Just be incapacitated and you will smell real pepper! If you can get her to mend her ways perhaps with some mediation, fine! Otherwise, give you marriage a critical re-look and reevaluation. A woman who is that mean to you does not love you. Let’s give her the benefit of doubt that she doesn’t know better. If that’s the case, then she better shape up or ship her out