My wife has never given me a gift for the past six years we’ve been married. When I ask her to buy something for me, she’ll bring it home and collect her money, however little the money is. Sometimes, I pretend I’ve forgotten but she’ll ask about it in the morning, in the afternoon, and wake me up at dawn to ask why I haven’t paid back her GHC60.

She’s gainfully employed but I don’t ask what she does with her money. I pay everything there’s to pay in this house while she keeps her money for whatever she wants.

I buy her beautiful things. I can send her a link to a wig and ask if she likes it. If I see a beautiful dress on Instagram, I take a screenshot and send it to her. Immediately she goes like, “I love it. It will fit perfectly” I’ll order and have it delivered directly to her. When she sees things she wants, she takes money to buy them. She’ll take a loan from me and will never pay. When I ask her she’ll tell me, “You’re not even shy that you asking your wife to pay back a loan. Why are you my husband?”

Every loan I give to her, I count it as a bad debt.

It’s getting to me. I feel she doesn’t love me. She sees me as a providing machine and not a human being who needs to be provided for. Her behaviour makes me scared that if one day I become incapacitated, she won’t spend a dime on me. When I talk, she tells me, “Just be incapacitated and let’s see what will happen.”

Six years ooo. Six good years, this woman hasn’t bought me even a pair of socks. She bought a painkiller for me on her way home and the next morning she told me, “Your headache is gone so my money is no longer your headache, right?”

My question is, is it a lack of love that makes her treat me this way or she simply doesn’t know how to give? If it’s the latter, then why isn’t she ready to learn? Why doesn’t she listen to me when I talk to her about it? I used to not care but now I’m scared!

—Hubert

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