I earn a little over ten thousand a month from the jobs I do. I’m married with three children. What I earn isn’t a lot, but it’s enough for us due to how I manage our lifestyle. My wife earns a little over three thousand a month. One day, she told me she wanted to buy a car. The first question I asked was, “Will you be able to afford the expenses that come with owning a car?” She replied, “What’s so difficult about a car? It’s all about management.”

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I’ve never thought about owning a car because it’s not a necessity for us. My office is within walking distance, and my kids’ school is also close to my workplace. My wife works in town, but she only needs to take one ride to get to her office. We have many other financial priorities, and buying a car isn’t one of them. However, she didn’t listen to me. She went ahead and bought the car using a loan from her office, even after I contributed some money toward it.

At first, it was nice watching her drive to work, church, and other places. But six months later, she started complaining about the cost of fuel, among other expenses. It became a struggle for her, so sometimes she parked the car and took public transport to work. Because she couldn’t afford fuel, if I used the car even for a short distance, she would ask me to refill the tank. Eventually, I stopped using the car altogether.

Now, the car sits there and breathes like we do. The cost of insurance and maintenance has become her problem. I suggested she sell the car, but she got angry. She accused me of being a stingy and unsupportive husband. She compared me to other husbands, saying, “Do you think all the women who drive their own cars don’t get support from their husbands? What do you even use your money for?”

I don’t want to list everything I spend my money on, but next year, I want us to move into our own house, and I’m bearing the entire cost. My wife refuses to sell her car because she doesn’t want to make me happy. Fine. But now she’s trying to guilt-trip me into buying fuel for her on a weekly basis. Since I don’t give in, she’s started using the housekeeping money I give her to buy fuel. She’ll go to the market, come back with very few groceries, and say, “I bought fuel. It’s part of the cost.”

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She’s even used our kids’ canteen money for fuel, and later, the school called me to pay the outstanding balance. Would I be wrong to list the car on Tonaton and sell it off? If the car develops a major fault right now, she won’t be able to fix it. Or am I really a stingy husband for cutting my coat according to my cloth?

—Jeff

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