On my way to his house, I called to tell him I was hungry so he should get me something to eat. Immediately when I sat down, he served the food and went back inside.

I was too hungry I didn’t wait for a minute. I rushed to the food and started eating my fill. Minutes later, he came to see me eating the second ball of banku. He sat quietly and watched me. When I talked to him, he didn’t respond. I asked, “Is anything the matter?” He replied, “Did you wash your hands before eating?”

I had hand sanitizer in my bag so when the food was served, I poured some on my hands before eating. He sat quietly until I finished eating everything. He was staring hard. I felt something was wrong but he was not saying it. I went to the kitchen, cleaned the dishes and came to sit next to him. His mood wasn’t right but when I initiated intimacy he didn’t say no.

When I got back to my house, I called but he didn’t pick up. Later in the evening, he sent me a long voice note detailing how he was shocked that I could eat food meant for two people. “We were supposed to eat together. I spent only two minutes inside but you had already finished the second ball and was on the third ball. Is that how a lady eats?”

I explained that I wasn’t on the third but on the second when he came but he wouldn’t listen. Truth be told, the food didn’t look like something for two people. They were four balls but very small in size.

Because of this small issue, a five-month relationship is breaking down. He called me selfish and inconsiderate. He said when he was looking at me intensely, I should have known he was part of the food. I was hungry. I apologized but he says he’s not coming back.

How do I explain this to anybody? I’m even embarrassed that this guy will go around telling people that he left me because I ate four balls of banku. He won’t explain the size to people. He would leave them to imagine the size, that’s what hurts me the most.

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To me, this is not the end. I won’t let these small balls of banku put asunder what might as well be my future husband. I’m still begging. I send him messages every morning and evening. He responds to some and ignores most of them but I know soon, he’ll come back to normal. If he comes back to normal and later breaks up with me on different grounds, I will allow him to go but definitely not on this small ball of banku ground.  

— Freda

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