She’s not someone you’d call beautiful. She doesn’t have the face, mannerisms, or grace that people often associate with beauty. She knows this, and it sometimes affects the way she carries herself. She was my friend for a very long time before something deeper developed between us. To be honest, I never thought we’d have a relationship that would lead us to this point—talking about marriage. But here we are.

What she lacks in conventional beauty, she more than makes up for with kindness, intelligence, and hard work. I met her as a virgin because she had never been in a serious relationship before me. She doesn’t entirely trust my love for her—even now, she doubts my feelings. At one point, she told me I was with her only because she was available and “cheap.” She thought all I cared about was getting easy access to sex. That wasn’t true, but I’ve had to spend a lot of time proving to her that I genuinely care about her.

We’ve been dating for almost two years. My friends question my judgment every time I tell them I’m serious about marrying her. Some even suggest she might have cast a spell on me. Ebo, one of my closest friends, once said, “Maybe you don’t care about anything now, but for the sake of your future children, let this one go. They won’t forgive you when they realize you had better options but settled for her.”

I cut Ebo off because I couldn’t tolerate anyone disrespecting my relationship. Little did I know that my parents held the same view. They know we’re together—I’ve taken her home and introduced her to them. At first, my mom didn’t say anything negative about her, and neither did my dad. But when I mentioned our plans to get married someday, everything changed.

They both burst out laughing and asked what I saw in her. My dad even called my elder sister while I was there and told her about my plans. I could hear her laughing on the phone, questioning my taste in women. She said to my dad, “He’s your son. Tell him you didn’t raise him to make such choices.”

I was deeply hurt, especially by the way my parents ridiculed me. They treated me like a child incapable of making a rational decision. My girlfriend has been waiting for feedback from my visit, but I haven’t been able to give her any answers. Now she’s starting to wonder why I keep postponing our next visit to my parents and why I haven’t told her anything about their reaction.

My Mom Doesn’t Care How I Make The Money I Send To Her

She’s not the most patient person and is quick to suspect something is wrong when I avoid certain topics. Her insecurities make it hard for her to accept vague excuses. I feel like, with time, I can bring my parents around. This isn’t an insurmountable problem, but I still need to tell her something.

The question is, do I tell her the truth, which I know will hurt her and potentially derail our relationship? Or do I lie, knowing I don’t have many lies left to tell? How do I navigate this situation without losing her or alienating my family?

— Patrick

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******