When I asked about his job two years ago, he told me he was an investor. I took it literally until I asked him days later what he invested in. He laughed. “You won’t understand. Maybe later,” he said.

My curiosity was piqued so for days, I pressed him to tell me what he was into. He told me he was a blogger. I asked for his blog and he later changed what he said. “I’m into bitcoin. It’s a lot complicated but it’s not a permanent job. I’m working on starting something on my own with the money I earn from Bitcoin.”

I left it there knowing very well that time would do justice to the rest of the story.

I visited often. He was mostly on his computer. Sometimes I would sit next to him and watch what he was doing. There were numbers that kept changing. I didn’t understand anything but he was doing well so I figured whatever that was was good enough.

We dated for over three months before he opened up fully that he was into betting.

I looked at him, wondering how betting could be a job. By the time he finished taking me through everything he had gained through betting, I was convinced he had the magic or he was a pro at what he did.

He had a building project going on. He told me everything came from betting. He had a small shop where he was selling phone accessories. He had given it out to someone to operate. That also came from betting. Where he was living was rented. A two bedroom apartment he said he rented with a friend but later the friend moved. That also came from betting. He had a beautiful car. He said it came from one win.

I knew betting wasn’t a winning game. Everyone said they lost a lot before they won once so how could he be doing so well at something everything was losing in? I spoke to friends about it. Guys who were also into betting. They said it could be real or there was some sakawa going on.

The way I saw it, it couldn’t have been sakawa. He didn’t have excessive money to throw around. He didn’t live extravagantly. Just an ordinary guy going through life and making decisions that later earned money. Though I didn’t buy the sakawa angle, I put my eyes on the floor to see if I could find something fishy. One year later, all has been well.

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The only thing I see is a meticulous man who is also calculative in his ways. When he wins, he shows me the cashout. When he loses, we talk about it together and insult the team that spoils the bet. Slowly, it became a business for us rather than for him alone. He would tell me about two teams I knew nothing about and ask who would win. I wasn’t right all the time but the times I was right, we won big.

I asked him to go into business with the money he had been winning. He told me he had tried that three times and failed so he was rather concentrating on his building project and maybe go into estate development later. He has big dreams. That’s one thing I like about him. Currently, he invests in treasury bills and other soft investments here and there.

The first time I took him home, it was just a flash. We didn’t spend more than five minutes there but my dad called to ask who he was. I told him he was just a friend who gave me a ride home. He didn’t believe me. He told me he looked like a good guy so I shouldn’t let him slip.

The second time we went home, it was my mom who raised the flag of suspicion. She went directly to him to ask who he was to me. He told her we were just friends but my mom insisted he was lying. She told him, “There’s a man worrying us for her hand in marriage. Are you telling me we are free to give her away?”

He laughed sheepishly. My mom said, “You see I’ve caught you? We’ve been like you before so don’t think you’re smart. It’s not even a bad thing so why would you run from it?”

Currently, we are at a place where I have to tell my parents the occupation of my boyfriend because we are talking about marriage. My parents are very traditional. When my elder sister was about to marry, my dad visited her boyfriend at his workplace to ascertain if he was telling the truth about his occupation. It was subtle. Like, “I was around the area and remembered my in-law’s office is around the corner so I decided to pass by.”

It was his way of confirming what he had been told. He said my mom’s parents did it to him and he’s taking it from them because it’s a good thing. My boyfriend’s job is not traditional. They’ll understand if I tell them he works from home or he has his own business but they’ll like to know what goes into the business.

We decided to use the phone shop but it’s too small for him to buy the kind of car he’s driving. My dad would raise questions. I told him, “I will tell him the truth. You’re not a thief. You make money online and that’s legit.”

I told my dad, “He’s an online person. He works on the internet and gets paid a good sum of money.” “Is he doing sakawa?” he asked me. “No, it’s not sakawa. This is legit. Like investing in online business. You won’t understand everything so yeah, he’s into online businesses.”

My elder brother called the next day asking me, “What does your boyfriend do that you can’t explain to dad? He has asked me to talk to you about it and come and explain it to him.”

I confessed to my elder brother because he and I are like that. We talk. We laugh. We have a connection. He said, “You can’t tell this to dad.” I told him, “Then dress it up for him the way he will understand it.” He replied, “If he later finds out, he will never forgive the two of us so let’s tell him the truth and use the future real estate business as a defence.”

Knowing the kind of man my dad is, if I tell him the truth, that would be the end of our relationship. He would say a man who bets doesn’t have a future. Apart from that, every good perception he has about my boyfriend would be erased, because, to him, good men don’t gamble.

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I’ve been thinking about it but nothing assures me that it will be easy. Dad would exaggerate the issue. Mom will add drama to make it look like the worst sin a daughter can commit. In our world, we can shroud betting in beautiful clothes and present it as wholesome but in their world, betting is gambling and gambling is for kobolors.

What would you do differently if you were in my shoes? Lie your way out, right? As in paint his job with white colours as you wait for a future where the two of you will transition into something formal, right?

— Eli 

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