Marcus didn’t tell me he was looking for a girlfriend. He said he just wanted us to be friends. I agreed, and we kicked things off.
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I’m an apprentice at a hair salon, while he owns his own company. He makes footwear on a commercial scale and is also a pastor of his own church. When you see him, you will know that this is a man who is doing well for himself in life. This is why I felt special to be the object of his attention.
Every time I saw him, he made sure to give me a gift. He always brought something sweet and edible, or money. As an apprentice, I don’t earn any income. If anything, I end up spending money on food, transportation, and the equipment I need for work. So every gift Marcus gives helps to cushion me.
As our friendship grew, he asked me to marry him. Let me be honest—I accepted the proposal because of my financial situation. I feel like marrying him will change some things in my life.
The problem now is my family, especially my mother. They were nice to him when I brought him home. They welcomed him with smiles and Nigerian hospitality. But the moment he left, my mother turned to me and said, “You won’t marry that man.”
I was surprised. “Why? He is a good man. He will take good care of me.”
“Is it only about provision?” one of my relatives asked. “Look at his legs. Are you not too young to resign yourself to a man who has a limp?”
Marcus had an accident that affected his right leg. He has difficulty walking as a result. My family believes a man with that kind of impediment shouldn’t be my husband.
When I tried to explain why he is the right choice for me, my mother asked, “Who is chasing you out of here that you want to get married at this age? You are only eighteen. That man is even too old for you.”
Marcus is thirty-five.
Nothing I have said to convince them that he is the choice I made has worked. Marcus also keeps asking when we can take the next step toward marriage. I don’t have the heart to tell him that my family won’t accept him.
I Was The Man In The Relationship And He Didn’t Like It
On more than one occasion, this man has told me that anyone who wrongs him faces dire consequences. “I don’t know how to forgive and leave it for God. If you offend me, you will taste the repercussions,” he says.
Looking at all the hopes this man has that I would become his wife, won’t he be offended if I tell him I can’t marry him? I don’t want him to hurt me.
What do I do in this situation? What do I even say to him?
— Katie
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Being truthful is the way out. And if he doesn’t believe you take him to your parents so that they can have a word with him.Your parents wants what is best for you .They have lived more years than you and can spot a kind person from afar and he isn’t one. The fact he gives deos not make him kind . A kind man gives and forgives. Apart from that a man who marries a woman who doesn’t work will never regard her but will look down ,abuse and trample on you. You are young so endure your situation and make it without any man’s help. If you marry him it will be your end.
This your comment never marry a man older than you because he may be a divorce and you aren’t
Blueberry or whatever you call yourself, what are u saying? That a woman should only marry a man younger than her age? Being a divorcee is not all about one’s age.
Op, i don’t have any idea to contribute.
1.You love him because he’s rich and would change your story.
2. Your family disapproved of him.
3. You’re afraid to leave him because of his nonsense threat.
Was there any covenant between you two without your parents knowlege. Did you take anything from with promise to marry him?
May God help you!
Damulak I’m with you on this one. It’s confusing to know what advice to give to her.
Katie whatever else, please don’t marry this man because you’re clearly young, immature and don’t know what you want.
And I’m always suspicious of a grown ass adult man who leaves his own age mates to marry a child. What happened to all the women aged between 25-33 that a 35yr old man would be chasing an 18yr old for marriage? Bro sounds like a groomer who’s looking for whom to control.
His lack of forgiveness is a huge red flag. Marriage is all about forgiveness and comprise. Being with a person who doesn’t know how to forgive how will he handle friction and conflict that come with Marriage?