She couldn’t speak the English language properly when I met her. When it came to writing, she was even worse. Nonetheless, I liked her a lot. I asked her a lot of questions about herself and she did not hold back or try to be evasive. I like people like that. I mean people who open up to others without fear of judgment. I suppose that’s why it was so easy for her to steal my heart.

Our conversations flowed so seamlessly that it didn’t take much effort for us to transition from friends to lovers. I remember asking her, “How far did you get in your schooling before you stopped?” She plainly responded, “Oh, I dropped out when I finished Primary 6.” It made sense. I then asked if she would like to learn how to speak and write English properly. She eagerly said yes.

I remember when I told my mother about her. She told me, “Don’t bother teaching that girl anything. Focus on your books.” I didn’t listen to her. It almost caused problems between my mother even. She wanted me to leave her. “I love her. She makes me happy,” I insisted. In the end, my mother gave up. As time passed, she came to accept Linda as my girlfriend. It made me so happy. I felt I had won.

Life seemed perfect. We moved in together, and for a while, it felt like the kind of love you only see in movies. We were carefree and always bursting with laughter.

We did everything together. Cooking? Teamwork. Cleaning? A joint effort. Even binge-watching videos felt like an adventure with her. She worked as a salesgirl at a restaurant while I juggled school and my internship. I trusted her with my life because she taught me everything about love. She taught me how to kiss, how to make love, and how to experience true intimacy with someone you love. “I have found the one,” I often thought.

Then July 2023 came. I decided to surprise her after spending some time at my mum’s place. I remember when I walked into our room expecting her to welcome me with excitement. She greeted me with anger instead. “Why didn’t you call me before coming?” she snapped. Her behaviour was strange considering it wasn’t the first time I had come home from my parents’ place without telling her. So what changed?

I tried not to let it bother me but her attitude stuck with me like a bad dream. A day before my birthday, things got worse. She started sneaking around to make phone calls. It all felt like a déjà vu. She behaved exactly like this when I was writing my second-semester exams in level 300.

When I went digging, I discovered that she cheated on me. When I asked her why she did it she said, “People advise me to date multiple men alongside you. That way if you complete school and tell me I am not your class, I will have another man to fall on.” I couldn’t believe she would hurt me because of something I might do in future. My world crumbled. I couldn’t concentrate on my studies. I got my worst grades that semester.

I wanted to leave her but I couldn’t. I blocked her for two weeks only to unblock her and forgive her. Yes, she hurt me but I loved her too much to let go.

We worked on rebuilding the trust. I started to feel safe again. Only for her to start showing the same signs she did the first time. I wanted to ignore her change in behavior but my suspicions got the better. I went digging again.

This time around she was working in another town so we no longer lived together. I read in her chats that she told the people at her new workplace she didn’t have a boyfriend. How could I trust someone like this?

“I can’t do this anymore,” I told her, “You cheated while we were living together. What happens now that we’re miles apart?” She didn’t even bother to fight for us. She just watched me go.

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A few days later I called her. I wanted us to talk about what happened. Instead of her soft voice, I heard a baritone voice saying, “Why are you calling my girlfriend? Let this be the last time you call her.” I was shocked.  In a matter of days, she had moved on.

Everything we shared over the years came to a messy end in October last year. And I haven’t been the same since. I feel damaged. What even pained me more than anything was when she called me on New Year’s Day to warn me never to call her again. “Don’t use your devilish calls and text messages to scatter my life. We are in a new year so move on.”

That phone call only reminded me of everything I have lost. I lost a part of myself to that relationship. I cut off friendships for her, and now I have no one to talk to about this—just a few male friends who tell me to forget her and move on. But it’s not that simple.

I’m trying to rebuild. I want to make new friends and start living for myself again but I don’t know how to start. I need some comfort and advice to help me get past this pain.

— Moses

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