We were in high school when we started going out. We couldn’t resist each other. We had promised to stay away from intimacy but our passion got the better of us. We started doing things slowly. First, it was a kiss. Then a touch. Before long we were doing everything. We went all the way and it was good. We were being safe, that’s what we believed. All our birth control measures worked perfectly so we were sure we knew what we were doing.

One day I was going about my busy life as a student when my girlfriend dropped the bombshell. “I have missed my period.” In panic, I started asking questions, “How? When did this happen? I thought we were being careful.” I was still in school, completely unprepared for fatherhood but I had to step up and face the consequences of my actions.

I was eighteen and in my final year when I performed her knocking rites. I was young but I had responsibilities to take care of. I needed money so desperately. Fortunately, I landed myself a farming job. Unfortunately, I had to drop out of school to work. I started to understand the phrase, “Born pikin no hard but money for koko,” from that moment. For non-pidgin speakers reading my story, the statement simply means; “Having a baby is easy but taking care of the child is hard work.”

Aku and I lived together as we raised our child. Despite my struggles, I was happy. My happiness came from the fact that I was building a family with the love of my life. Although I was a school dropout, I hadn’t given up on making a good life for myself. More than anything, I wanted to be someone my woman and my child would be proud of.

My first step to a better life was my application to be enlisted in the police service. I had high hopes that I was going to get in but unfortunately, there was a change of government during the 2008 elections, so my helper couldn’t come through for me. All other attempts to join the service proved vain. I was so disappointed that I had to give up on that dream.

The death of one dream birthed a new one. Through it all, Aku was by my side cheering me on. If she told me I could carry the whole world upon my shoulders, I would do it just to prove her right. That’s how much she inspired me.

In 2012, I became a pupil teacher. The money wasn’t much but it afforded me stable income. I could draw a budget and promise to buy my child and Aku something nice because I was assured of a fixed salary at the end of the month. I believed it was good for a change. Aku believed otherwise.

She felt I could do more with my life than to be a pupil teacher. “Don’t you like knowing where money is coming from at the end of the month?” I would ask her. She would retort, “How can we have more kids and survive on your meager salary?” At night, she would slap my hand whenever I tried to touch her.

I am a gentleman. When a woman says no to me, I leave her alone. So every time I tried to initiate shuperu and Aku turned me away, I let her be. That became our relationship. The entire time I worked as a teacher, I never got intimate with her. I wasn’t posted to work in my town so I was only home during vacations.

During one of our vacations, I came home to find that Aku was pregnant. My family didn’t know what was going on between us. They assumed the pregnancy was mine so in my absence, they were taking care of Aku and the unborn child. I was also doing my responsibilities as a father unaware that my woman was carrying another man’s child. It was when I came home that I saw her and knew.

I loved her so much that her betrayal broke me into a million pieces. I don’t know if things would have been different had she not gotten a baby out of the affair. But all I know is that I couldn’t continue with her knowing she was carrying a child that wasn’t mine. The relationship ended there and then.

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It’s been many years since that embarrassing incident. We have moved on. I am married to another woman. She also says she is married. The child we had while I was in high school completed high school recently with very good grades. The situation was not ideal at the time but now, I am a proud father.

My problem has to do with Aku. She has been calling me relentlessly. “Let’s meet up and catch up,” she says. I tell her there is no need for that but she won’t listen. “I did a good job raising our child, don’t you think?” She asks every time I deny her request for a meeting. She would then talk about how our child turned out to be a very exceptional young person because she is a good mother. Then she would say, “That’s why you owe me a gift. Let’s meet so you give it to me.”

I Didn’t Tell Anybody Because I Enjoyed It

The gift she wants is not tangible. No, she is quick to remind me of all the good and crazy times we enjoyed in the past. She says all she wants is my forgiveness for the way she wronged me. I am no longer hurt, I have told her this. However, she still insists we meet. Something tells me she wants me to sleep with her.

I understand that we are both married but I am tempted to take her up on her offer. It’s not about love, no. I just want to pay her back for the way she disgraced me when we were young. After all, she is the one asking for it. So if I give it to her, I will be fulfilling her wish. Should I do it?

–Philip 

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