Lucy has a childhood friend called Bene. The first time I met Lucy, she was with Bene when I called her. When I later became friends with Lucy, Bene was always around, going out with us and keeping us company even when we needed none. At some point, I proposed to Lucy and she said I should give her some time to think about it. A day later, she came to tell me, “No.” I felt Bene was the reason why Lucy wasn’t accepting my proposal. She was telling Bene everything and was taking advice from her. I tried my best to wean her off my Bene but she was like a tick on the skin of my Lucy. I didn’t like her that much but Lucy kept convincing me that she was a good girl and she had nothing to do with her decision not to accept my proposal. 

I kept pushing until one day Lucy accepted my proposal and we became lovers. Bene was still hanging around, telling Lucy when to see me and when not to. One day, I got angry about something Bene said so I confronted her about it. Lucy tried to stop me but I didn’t listen to her. The day I met Bene going out with Lucy I told her, “You better know your limit and don’t try to meddle in our affairs. She’s your friend but that’s how far it goes. You have no right to talk about me or talk about my issues in an untruth way. Also, stay off our way, you’re not a handbag.”

That bruised her ego so she sought to give us some space. She didn’t come around as often as she used to and I enjoyed it. For a very long time, I could have my girlfriend all to myself without the interference of Bene. We dated for three years and decided to get married. Bene was at our traditional wedding. She spoke to me and I smiled. That day we spoke of our differences and sought to patch things up. She was one of the bridesmaids at the wedding, the only one I knew among the many girls that were on the bridal train. After the wedding, I went to her house with my wife to say thank you to her. Again, we laughed together and the ice between us thawed a little more.

We were married so she gave us some gap to enjoy our union. Anytime she called my wife, she extended her greetings to me and I responded. Two years after our marriage, Bene also had her wedding. Like the good friends that we were, we went to support her and did all we could to make her day a happy one. My wife was pregnant but she wouldn’t let the day pass her by. She was all over the place ensuring Bene had a good day. 

Her wedding was over and she was living with her husband so I thought they would mellow on their friendship. I was wrong. Every evening after work Bene would call my wife and they would be on the phone for hours basically discussing issues pertaining to marriage. Sometimes when the call comes, I will walk away and allow them to talk about whatever they wanted to talk about. Not too long ago, Bene called. I was in the hall with my wife when the call came. My wife said, “Eiii this girl, she won’t sleep? Or her husband isn’t around?” 

I knew how long the conversation was going to go on so I got up and went to the bathroom to take my bath. I could hear the voice of my wife from the bathroom but it wasn’t loud enough to hear the details of what they were talking about. When I stepped out of the bath and was going back to the hall I heard my wife mentioning my name in the conversation so I stayed back and listen to what they were saying about me.

My wife said, “Oh, he’s also that small? It looks like God has a problem with us. I got small and you also ended with a small one?” I didn’t hear the response of Bene but following the line of the conversation, I knew what they were talking about. My wife said, “Sometimes I don’t feel anything ooo. It can even become a nuisance but I bear with it. Now, look at me, six months pregnant. Whether small or big, it still can impregnate you so let’s take it like that.” Then they both burst out laughing.

I didn’t go to the hall again. I slowly backtracked into the bedroom. I was so angry I didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t only the anger I was feeling, I was embarrassed too. For all the years We had been together, my size hadn’t become an issue. I thought I was adequate. If my wife at some point talked about it to my face, I don’t think I would have been offended. She never made any move for me to see my inadequacy. “I’m a nuisance to her in bed and this woman didn’t mention it? How come it is her friend she is talking to about it? I laid in bed thinking about it until she joined me. She saw me awake and said, “Eiii, I thought you were long gone ooo. Or you were talking to your new catch?” 

I didn’t say a word. I turned around, pulled the cloth over my head and kept my distance. Since that day, I haven’t been able to gain an erection around her. When she wants it, she will play with it all night trying to get it up but it won’t get up. It’s not something I’ve intentionally decided. It started from the day I overheard her making those remarks. Now she has started complaining and asking questions as to why I’m always not in the mood. I haven’t been able to open up to her about what I heard. I feel like talking about it would make me angrier so the best thing to do is maintain my silence. 

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Days ago, she went hyper. She raised her voice at me, “I’m pregnant. Pregnancy is not a disease that you would look at me with pity. I want it so stop playing hide and seek with me. If you’ve found someone else who is servicing you on the side too, you can tell me so I stop worrying you.” I nearly responded, “I don’t want to be a nuisance to you so let me be.” I didn’t say it. I didn’t want to have a long night. I’ve also decided not to talk about it with her until she delivers. That way, she could have a clear mind for us to address the issue the way it ought to be addressed. 

I think of it and I get angry. Some days I get so angry that I don’t sleep next to her in the bedroom. The question on my mind is, “So why has no one ever mentioned it to me? Were they all lying to me when they were giving me fans in those days? I remember one day we did it when we were dating, she told me I was the best thing that has happened to her in a very long time because I’m the only one who understands the needs of her body. Was that also a lie? The worse part is, that I’ve become so aware of it to the extent that I’m not able to look at it when I go to the bathroom. I’m afraid I will look at it and accept the truth in what my wife said. 

Now I’m thinking of what to do. Should I wait until she delivers or I should confront her right away to get it over with? Honestly, I think about it every day and it hurts. The fact that she called me a nuisance is what kills my soul. I don’t think things would be the same even when we talk about it. It’s still in my head. It has become a voice that echoes in my mind anytime I have to bring it out and use it, ”You’re too small you’ve become a nuisance.” 

Left to me alone, I will wait but do you think it’s a good idea to have a face-off with her in her current state? 

—Fab

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