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Our love story reads like a tug-of-war. My husband was the rope. His family were at one end of the rope, pulling and insulting me with all their strength. His mom was louder. His siblings said I’d bewitched their brother. When it started, I had my family with me on the other end of the rope, pulling gently, hoping we’d win. When it got tough, one after the other my family left the rope.

I was alone. One against many. My family were not pulling with me but sat behind telling me, “Akos give up. It’s not worth it. He’s only a man. There are a lot of his kind out there. Why labour in vain for this one?”

My husband had a tough upbringing. He came from a family that struggled to eat three square meals a day. He’s the third out of five children. The two ahead of him were taken out of school because they were not clever. My husband was so clever that his family decided they would invest in only him so he would help those below him when he made it. He was set up right from the start to be the lamp of the family. I didn’t know this story until the tug-of-war began.

I met him in my office one lunchtime. He came to see my boss who was on break. He told me he would wait so I gave him a chair not far from mine. He asked questions and I answered. Eventually, he met my boss and when he was leaving, he took my contact along. “So we can continue our questions and answers on the phone,” he said while asking for my contact.

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In the evening he called, “This is Appiah, the gentleman you had a question and answer session with during the day.” We talked about nothing but everything. We laughed at our own stale jokes until my alarm went off for sleeping time. He didn’t leave me. We talked the next day and the next until we became a love story. He said he wanted marriage. I told him I would be ready when he was ready.

We dated for five months before he took me home. The reception was lukewarm. His parents wouldn’t look me in the face or even ask for my name.

They took him inside and by the time they came back, Appiah had a frowned face. When we were leaving, I asked what the issue was. “They say I’m too young to marry. How’s twenty-nine too young to marry?” I encourage him to be patient with them. He told me, “It’s a long story. You won’t understand.” I wanted to understand the whole story so I asked him to tell me.

The family was expecting him to take care of his two siblings after him until they completed school before he could call himself a man ready to marry. His family for some reason felt he wouldn’t take care of the house if he took up the love of a woman. When I understood the story, I asked him to take things slowly with the family and also try to convince them through his actions that nothing would change.

We dated for a year before we went to see his family again for their blessings. They didn’t look at me. Again they took him inside. The meeting went on for so long that I thought I would be a year older by the time they finished. When they finally came out, he told them, “She’s here. Ask her the questions.”

They wanted to know my profession. I told them. They wanted to know the work of my parents. I told them. “They are not rich but they don’t rely on me for survival.” His father told me, “We rely on this man for so many things. He’s the torch bearer for this family. He leads the way financially and a woman in his life should understand this so she doesn’t change things for us.”

I opened up to them and gave them my word that I would be supportive. Two years later, they were still saying no to us. My family supported me until it got to a point where they decided everything was a red flag so I should let go. I knew Appiah. I knew his heart and the kind of humility he brought to the table. All his life, he had taken care of people so he understood what it meant to take care of a woman. I loved him too much it was either him or him.

When it became a tussle, my family left my back and asked me to fight my battle. Appiah’s siblings could pick up the phone and insult me because they asked for help and Appiah couldn’t provide it. “We were OK before you came along. Appiah never said no to us until you showed up. Is he the only man in this world? Can’t you leave him alone and look for where you can dig for proper gold?”

I was giving up when Appiah came to tell me things were looking good. He had summoned his parents before great family members and they had resolved the issue. I wasn’t convinced but later it became obvious that his parents were softening their stand. His mother called to apologize to me and asked me to forget everything that happened in the past. His siblings also did the same thing. There was a light of hope so I followed the trail until one day, we got married in front of the church and our family and friends. It took us five good years to be able to get through with it.

After marriage, we say “And they lived happily ever after,” right?

Wrong. The storm was coming but I was unaware so by the time it hit, it blew away everything that had me grounded in this life. It all started when one night my husband complained of waist pains. By morning, my husband was completely paralyzed. That was the beginning of the storm, the storm that took everything away and planted chaos in a serene life of ours.

Part Two Of This Story Will Be Published At Exactly 1 P.M. Today.

—Akos

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