
Ever since I got married, I have always been apologizing to my husband. Even when he is the one who is wrong, I end up apologizing to him. If I don’t do it, he makes my life miserable. He would report me to his mother and the two of them would gang up on me. They would insult me and call me all sorts of names until I’d end up telling the two of them, “I am sorry,” for something he did.
There was a time when this man cheated on me. You would think that he would at least express remorse when I caught him. No, he didn’t. He rather got angry that I confronted him.
Normally, when a man cheats and he is caught, he doesn’t even want his parents to know. At least that’s how the stories I hear and read go. Not my husband though. He told his mother what he did. Then he reported me to his mother that I confronted him.
You would think this woman would understand the pain and betrayal that comes with a husband cheating. Even if she wouldn’t empathize with me, she could have chosen to stay away from the situation. She did neither of these. She chose to join her son to insult me.
“My son is the man of this house,” she said, “You don’t have any right to question him.”
My husband then told me, “Do you know the number of women out there who want me? Or do you think because I married you, you are special? Those women are even far better than you.”
Back then, I was the quiet type so all I did was cry. I couldn’t even voice out how deeply his words cut. Not to him, not to anyone. I brooded over these words for so long before I finally let go and moved on.
My feelings never mattered to this man and when I got pregnant with our second child it even got worse. He stopped sharing a bed with me completely. Even now that our child is almost two and a half years old, he still doesn’t come to my bed. I don’t know where he goes to get his intimate needs met and I dare not ask. If not, we will fight again.
About five months ago, he brought his younger brother to live with us in our chamber and hall apartment.
I have been doing my best to get along peacefully with this guy but something about him bothers me. He doesn’t sleep in our bedroom but he has a habit of barging in unannounced. I have asked him politely several times to knock before he enters the room but he ignores my requests.
That’s how he ended up barging in on me naked one time. He didn’t even apologize for doing that. Neither did he change his ways. So I started locking my bedroom door whenever I was inside.
My husband travelled last week. I didn’t want any drama so I locked the bedroom door before I slept. I was far gone when my brother-in-law came knocking so I didn’t hear him. Instead of going to sleep in his usual place in the hall and knock on my bedroom door again in the morning, he called my husband and their mother.
I don’t know what he told them, but they got angry that I locked the door. These people called me and insulted me as if I had committed a crime.
When my husband returned from his trip three days ago, he made this whole issue with his brother a big fight. I honestly don’t understand what the anger is all about. Am I wrong for asking my brother-in-law to knock before entering our bedroom?
That Is The Craziest Thing I’ve Ever Done In The Name Of Love
My husband doesn’t even sleep in the bedroom. Neither does his brother. So what’s wrong if I lock the door after 10 PM to sleep? What did his brother want in the room at that time that it couldn’t have waited till morning?
The way these people are treating me is making me gradually lose myself. No matter what happens, my husband always calls his mother to report me, and they insult me. I am exhausted. What do I do?
—Samira
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Please leave. It’s toxic to your mental and emotional health. Consider the effect it will have on your kids. Do you want your kids to be abusive like their dad? I bet the answer is no.
People endure things paa all in the name of marriage. I am sure you are probably solely dependent on him, which is why denegrates you and disrespects you with his entire family. His brother will rape you and thenfanily will defend him, and tell you there is nothing special about you that his brother can not sleep with you when he wants to. You are not a human being to them. No you are not. You are only a property je has acquired and as his property, he can treat you anyhow je desires.
And so whatever you decide to do with this information, its up to you.
But know this my dear, it will not change. It will only get worse.
All the best in whatever you decide to do.
I don’t think you feel tired and disrespected enough. You would have packed out long time
We are tired of women that don’t have boundaries and don’t know their worth! You seriously don’t know what to do? Don’t you have your own people? Didn’t you have a life before you met this man? We teach people how to treat us and you have taught this man to disrespect you by tolerating all the maltreatment!
Is it that you value yourself that you continue to stay in that marriage?
Sorry but I don’t think I have sympathy for you if you choose to stay in that house
Until you see your spirit looking your body before you will leave the house(death)?. Even though he his the only man on earth, you better stay without marrying. Run ohh
I’m sure you’re not working to help him build the family, that’s why they all disrespect you
It’s about time you get busy with your life and live your life without his support
They’ll treat you differently
Leave, madam. Please. I know he has worn you down, but like maameafua said, think of the children and get the strength to depart
My Sister, I feel for you if that’s what it is, please for the sake of your sanity, please advise yourself and hold onto God . Would your in- law have done same if you were his biological daughter ?
Please mothers kindly share in our sentiments wae na some women are really suffering in their marriages and many are dying silently.
Please karma is real and God is alive too.
Were you not loved as a child? Don’t you know what self worth and self esteem is? Are you sure you want your children if they are girls to grow up thinking it’s okay to be abused? Or it’s okay to abuse women if they are boys? It’s really sickening to see the number of weak minded women in society.