My husband got caught—he’s dating our neighbour’s daughter. According to him, the girl told him she was 21, which is why he agreed to date her. However, the girl’s parents claim she is only 15. Neighbours familiar with the girl’s background say she’s 16.
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I didn’t hear about this issue until money was mentioned. The neighbour is demanding GHC20,000 from my husband; otherwise, he’ll report the matter to the police. A neighbourhood committee was set up to negotiate the amount. My husband offered GHC5,000, but the girl’s father is adamant about receiving the full GHC20,000.
One of the committee members informed me about the situation, and I felt deeply embarrassed. It was like walking through the neighborhood unaware that I was exposed. When I confronted my husband, he confessed and apologized. Right now, I’m unsure whether I’ve forgiven him or not, but I’m more concerned about the money being demanded.
Neither of us has that kind of money, and taking a loan to settle such nonsense is out of the question. I’ve decided to let him handle this issue on his own because I wasn’t there when he was “enjoying” with a minor.
He’s constantly frustrated and miserable, leaving home at dawn and returning late at night, as if running from his own shadow. I know the girl’s father fairly well. While we’re not close, I believe he would listen if I spoke to him or brought a delegation to plead for a reduced amount.
I want this problem resolved so I can focus on dealing with my husband. We haven’t had a meaningful conversation about the incident, and the longer this drags on, the deeper my hurt grows.
She Left Me To Marry A Man Who Was Ready For Marriage
But I’m torn. How will the community see me if I get involved? And how will my husband view me if he thinks I’m supporting him? I don’t want to give the wrong impression, yet I need this issue resolved so we can start addressing the festering wound in our relationship.
Where do I go from here—left or right?
— Nelson
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Don’t take sides. Do your own investigation. Always be on the side of truth because if you go in the side of the victim then you will be against your husband and if you be your husband’s side you will be seen as corrupt ,unfair etc. Don’t forget to involve God in your daily affairs. Remember don’t allow your emotions to cloud your judgement as well.
What would you do if it was your son and not your husband who was involved here? Do the same here and get the family out of the unwanted limelight. Use the influence you say you have on behalf of the family and ‘fight’ later.
The most mature and constructive advice I’ve ever come across!
Never get involved, just be unconcerned till the situation is resolved
This is infidelity issue, supporting him might encourage him to do more after, you men and their sexual urge
Dont get yourself involved in his crime, especially one that is a betrayal to your vows. Let him feel the heat so that he think twice about repeating such.
Don’t get involved. He got into this matter by himself, likewise let him get out of the matter by himself. Let justice serve him. Next time he’ll control his organ
Don’t get involved leave him alone to sort himself out. Although your neighbour has a lot of guts. It takes two to tangle. Instead of him to look for how to restrain his wayward 15 year old daughter who lies about her age to date married men, he’s looking for compensation. Did your husband rape the girl that he’s asking for that kind of money ? It could even be a plot for them to extort money from your husband. Is the man financially sound? If he’s so incensed about the incident, then he should have gone straight to the police station to report the matter instead of trying to financially benefit from his daughter’s shame. What really wrong footed your husband was the fact that he’s a married man, were he single, he would have no blame. And your husband is just a shameless disgrace. Even if he wanted to cheat on you, why would he do it with your neighbour’s daughter, whether she’s 15, 21 or 30? And is he blind? Doesn’t the girl go to school? It didn’t occur to him that a girl putting on school uniform could easily be under 18? And teenagers nowadays constantly lie about their ages in order to date older men. Not too long ago I saw a 17 year old who was rushed to the hospital by her boyfriend. Her biggest concern was that nobody should tell him her true age, because she had lied to him that she was 21.
Don’t get involved. Your husband didn’t even deem it necessary and respectful to inform you about the whole situation himself. It had to come from someone outside. And this is a man you want to go and plead for? My dear, let him carry his cross.
As for your wound, I don’t understand why you are holding your breath on speaking to him about it. Please, you do not owe him shelving your pain and hurt until he sorrs out his nonsense beside you can speak about it. You don’t owe him that so go ahead and have that conversation with him however you want. Get it off your chest. Don’t hold your breath for him.
No matter manly a man may be, there’s always some things you can’t just go up to your and voice it out.
It’s like being a child who has done something wrong, sometimes you just want your parents to hear and question you for you to tell them the truth.
Such is this situation.
Some wrongs are too disrespectful and outta place (shameful) that you can’t just go to your partner and voice it out.
She needs to have the conversation but HOWEVER she wants it with him
Two wrongs don’t make a right
He has disrespected her and their marriage doesn’t mean she should go up and do same.
Whatever thing, I’m sure she’ll find a positive way to sort it out.