
My husband lives abroad and has been away for close to three years. Our rent is almost due, and he has to send money for the renewal, but just yesterday, he told me we should move in with his parents until further notice.
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We have two children and live in a two-bedroom self-contained house. At his parents’ house, we will only have one room, which wouldn’t be enough to accommodate the three of us. Even finding space for our things will be very difficult, but he insists we move there.
That house has his mother, father, and his two siblings. I foresee problems and clashes here and there, but he doesn’t want to side with me. Again, he specifically said I should be with them so I can take care of their needs, which is also another problem.
I’ve had issues with his father before. He used to send my money through his father, which I didn’t like. Later, we realized his father had been giving me less than he had been sending. This turned into a huge problem, but he wants me to go and live with this same person.
I Was Fine Until I Was Alone In My Room
I have parents too. We have a bigger house where I can live comfortably, but he tells me, “I’ve paid your bride price to them already. You don’t have anything to do with them. Once you go there, consider the marriage over.”
His ego tells him my parents will chastise him for not being able to pay the rent. I’m not scared about losing this marriage, but is this defiance worth losing a marriage for?
—Anokyiwaa
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If you value your peace of mind, don’t move In with them. Their two children in the himself can not tale care of their needs but you, who has to cater for two children have to move in with them to cater for their needs? Like seriously?
Also I believe the issue is not about your husband not having money. He has mentioned the fact thay he has to renew your rent for you to his parents, probably when they demanded money from him amd they brought up that suggestion.
My dear, tell him you haven’t been too well amd the doctors has requested you take it easy and rest amd avoid stress. You possibly can not expect his in laws to cater to your needs at the moment so you will move in with your parents whiles you recuperate and when you are cleared you will go to his parents house.
As to when you will be cleared will be dependent on you.
And by the way, are you not working? If not then this is a wake up call to find something to do asap. If you could afford rent all by yourself, I don’t think he would even be giving you such silly ultimatums. Where in the marriage contract did it say you are supposed to live with his parents?
If you decide to go, your marriage will still eventually crumble because you will not be a servant enough to them. They will find fault with you, take you for granted, and never ever appreciate you.
It will completely destroy the already weak relationship.
So choose wisely.
Don’t go find somewhere to live for the sake off peace.
lol, did he buy u from ur parents? remember that you have ur rights in the marriage, exercise that and have a freedom, don’t care about the threat, his warning indicates a red flag, be vigilant!
Your husband has already proven that he’s a fool. He has over involved his family in your business and clearly has dictatorial tendencies. Why would he be sending money to a grown woman with two children through his father in the first place. He sees trouble, but instead of avoiding it, he chooses to jump right in.
If you go to his parents’ place, there will definitely be problems and he won’t take your side.
If he doesn’t pay the rent, then go to your parents’ place. Let him do his worst. After all, a man who lives abroad and yet cannot afford the rent for a two bedroom apartment is not serious with his life.