My husband’s younger sister has been home doing nothing for the past three years. She has completed her high school education. Her desire is to enroll in a tertiary school for futher studies. Her grades are good. If all things were equal, she would be in school. The only thing holding her back is money.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

My husband’s family is not particularly well-to-do. My husband himself doesn’t have much. Yes, he works. He earns good money in the technical sense of the word, but as a family man, his salary would not be enough to sustain us.

I, on the other hand, have a good job. I earn way more than my husband does. I also come from money. So my parents are not dependent on me for anything. The only thing I spend my money on is my marriage.

While I am in my early thirties, my husband is in his late thirties. We are still trying to conceive. In the absence of children, we have been working to secure our future. Whatever we do that requires money, I contribute more than he does. So far, we’ve aquired a piece of land together, and we’ve started building on it.

At first, I didn’t mind doing the financial heavy lifting. Yes, I know people say that it’s difficult for women to spend money on their men but that’s not my story. Especially, when I felt my husband was worth it. He is a complete gentleman; respectful, chivalrous, and very loving. This is why I was willing to go above and beyond to improve his prospects when it comes to standing on his feet financially. I have helped and pushed him to upgrade himself professionally. 

Honestly, I don’t regret anything I have done for him since we got married. In fact, I wish I could do more. His younger sister for instance, I can send her to school and fund her throughout her education. I would have to cut back on some of my expenses to do this, but it’s a sacrifice I am willing to make.

However, I am hesitant to do it because of her brother. My husband is in a position to at least try to pay for his sister’s fees. Even if he can’t do it all, he knows I will support him. This is why I am worried that he is rather spending his money on people who don’t need it.

I didn’t know he was doing it until I went through his phone recently and read his chats with his female friends. There is nothing untoward happening between them but they ask him for money. Not once did he refuse any of their requests. He gives it to them the moment they tell him they are broke. These are women who have jobs. They don’t need his money.

“Why do you keep giving out money to women who can afford to take care of themselves?” I asked him on more than one occassion.

His response has always been, “It’s good to help others.”

Okay, it’s good to help others yet when it comes to his own sister he is quick to raise empty hands and say, “Me, I don’t have money to see her through school.”

It breaks my heart that the girl is still at home looking for a helper. She is a good girl. I know she will do well with the right support. I have come within a hair’s breadth of helping her a few times. But whenever I see that her brother continues to send money to other women, it discourages me. 

I ask myself, “If the person who is related to her is spending his money on other women then why shouldn’t I also spend my money on spoiling myself?”

READ ALSO: I Am Planning To Start A Building Project Without Telling My Husband

I work hard for my money. I should be able to enjoy life just as the women my husband sends money to, right? 

I am even contemplating taking things a step further. I want to pretend I made some bad investments and lost all my money. Or find another lie to tell him, which will suggest I am no longer capable of supporting our household financially. That way he will start financing every expense we make in this marriage.


Would I be a bad wife if I implement a plan like this? Thinking about it alone makes me pity him, but I also feel he is taking me for granted. And he won’t stop playing “Father Christmas” to this women until he feels the full financial weight of being a husband.

Should I do it?

—Gemma

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at submissions@silentbeads.com. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB