My husband has a way of destroying great moments in our relationship. It wasn’t always like that until I told him the story of my ex. When he met me and wanted to date me, I told him I didn’t have the heart to love a man. “A man who’ll love you today and leave you tomorrow to die? No, I don’t have the heart to go through that twice. I’ll die.”

He wasn’t even a friend then. He was someone I knew around the corners of the vicinity where we lived. He started getting close after the breakup with my ex. To be honest with you, I wasn’t in a good place to love a man, a man who can make you today and break you apart tomorrow, so I gave him tough times. I wanted him out of my life but he was relentless. He had the heart of a goat. You pick up a stick to hit it and it will run. Two minutes later, it’s back trying to destroy what you don’t want it to destroy. I told him about his goaty heart and he laughed but in the end, his persistence paid off. I said yes.

I said yes because he agreed to all the terms I laid down before a relationship. He agreed we weren’t going to date for more than two years. He agreed I wouldn’t have sex with him until I was sure. He agreed he’d introduce me to his family as soon as the relationship starts. He said yes to things. Even when I thought he was going to say no he said yes. I asked why and he told me, “My goaty heart. It loves you that much.”

Somewhere along the bright paths of our relationship, he asked about my ex and why I was deeply hurt when he left me. I told him my story. The joy, the pain, the walking through the valley of death to the final destination of our relationship. I told him everything because I’d come to trust he was mature enough to handle my past and relate very well with it. In the end, I said, “I was hurt because I’m not a woman who gives half in love. I’m not a shadow who walks with you at the beach and yet leaves no footprint. I print on everything I love because I give it my all. I gave him my all and he ran with it. That’s why I broke down.”

It started as a joke, the way he destroys good moments. We were busy kissing one night when he burst out laughing. I didn’t know why he was laughing but the way he laughed made me laugh too. When he calmed down he said, “So that’s how you kissed your ex? That guy has really enjoyed ooo.” I was like, “Ah! You’re here thinking about my ex and how we kissed? Are you for real? I mean like seriously?”

It didn’t end there, he continued making such light remarks about my ex anytime we were having a good moment. I took them as jokes until I labelled them as bad jokes so we could have a conversation about them.

I recommended a place for his birthday and we went. We were both having the times of our lives when he suddenly burst the bubble of our joy to ask me, “Who discovered this place, your ex or yourself?”

READ ALSO: I Want To Drive My Father’s Wife Out Of Our House!

He affected my vibe greatly that night so we talked about it. He said I was taking his jokes the way he didn’t intend it to be. I told him, “They are your jokes. Not mine. I’m saying I don’t enjoy them. Where’s the punchline? Where’s the line that’s supposed to make me laugh? Stop it, you’re not funny.”

We got married when the relationship was two and a half years old. We crossed the two-year target by half but it was worth it. Our marriage is only three weeks old but he had killed so many things with his bad jokes that I’ve considered leaving the marriage.

The kind of honeymoon we had is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. We fought at the hotel. We were too loud the guys in the next room came out to calm us down. The following day, I packed my things and left the hotel. By the time I got home, I’d taken off my wedding ring, telling friends that they were too heavy on my finger.

It was our honeymoon so I decided to give him a great show–a show that’s worthy for the moment we found ourselves in. I was on top all night. I woke him up in the morning with BJ. Before breakfast came, I was already on top, rocking his world. He said, “Now I understand why you were hurt when he left you. You gave him all these styles and he still left you?” Then he burst out laughing as if he had told the best joke in the world. That was the first strike so I contained it.

In the evening, we were watching a movie about a girl whose ex kept coming into her life to mess things up for her. He asked me, “Did he do that when you left him? He’s laughing at me now. I paid good money for his secondhand property.”

I don’t know where that bought of anger came from. All my life, I didn’t know there was that part of me that could get angry and start destroying things with words. I started screaming; “Are you alright? Is he your ex or my ex? Why are you so obsessed with something I let go about four years ago? Are you gay? Are you jealous of him? I have his number, do you want it?”

Of all the questions I asked the only one he chose to address was the number part; “Oh I see. You love him so much you kept his contact all these years? You were meeting him behind my back, right? Why didn’t you marry him then?”

I was angry, he was furious. We kept shouting at each other until we heard a knock on our door. It was almost 12 a.m. We didn’t open the door. We kept going at each other until the knock got louder and louder and we started hearing noise at the door. We opened the door to see those couple next door. They were also on their honeymoon. We had spoken to them during the day and even shared our stories. They saw love when they met us in the afternoon so they wondered where the love was.

They asked us to calm down and settle our differences. When they left, I started packing. Early the next morning, I left the hotel for him so he could finally share the bed with the memory of my ex. He didn’t call or come for me when he returned from the hotel. I guessed he was also angry so I stayed in my lane. Three days later, he reported me to my parents and told them everything that happened on the honeymoon. He blurred the lines where he went wrong and painted me as the devil.

My parents prayed the demons out of me before throwing me out of their house. I came to a new home, a shiny matrimonial bed with a flame of anger in my chest. It’s been three weeks together as a married couple but we hardly exchange three words a day. I do my wifey duties. He does his husband duties too but we don’t talk with love because there’s an elephant in the room we need to cut to pieces.

Reason Why Women Don’t Propose To Men

Both of us have an ego. We don’t want to be the ones who start a conversation. No one wants to appear weak. So currently, we are two captains on a ship. We haven’t met the rough sea yet. When we do, I wonder whose orders would be taken. Honestly, he annoys me but I look at him and I feel glad I married him. I’m still angry. He should wait small until everything dissipates from my chest. I’ll give him a good show again but he better not mention my ex else, there would be no guests next door to separate us.

SHARE | Help Others See It Too

—Mabel

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******