The first time I met him was in 2013 just after I had completed SHS. I was in my hometown at the time. And he had accompanied one of his closest friends to my hometown for a marriage ceremony. That year was also the year I lost my father, so there was constantly a dark cloud hanging over my head. And my encounter with Raymond was a ray of light that shone through the darkness threatening to consume me. He had this sunny countenance that swallowed me in a good way. We barely knew each other but there was this sense of familiarity that made my heart beat rapidly whenever I thought of him.

We didn’t admit anything to ourselves those few days he was in my hometown, but it was love at first sight. He felt it as much as I did. So we exchanged our contact details before he left. And we confessed our love for each other over the phone. And that’s how our relationship started. We tried to maintain a phone relationship but one day I lost my phone. I didn’t have his number written anywhere so I could no longer reach out to him.

A year later, things became difficult for my mother as she had to take care of me and my four siblings alone. So I left my hometown for Accra in hopes that I would get a job and be sending money home. After three months in Accra, I received a phone call from an unknown number. It was Raymond. “I thought I would never hear from you again,” I said to him. He said, “Me too. I have been calling this number once in a while with the intention that one day it will go through. And today I got lucky.”

We spoke at length and caught up on our lives. As the days passed, the torch I once held for him was rekindled. A few weeks later I went to visit him. He was living in a single-room apartment with his friend. That day he told me, “My friend and I got the place together. I am hoping that someday I will singlehandedly afford my own place.” I let him understand that I was madly in love with him and that was all that mattered. I didn’t care whether he lived with someone or alone. After my confession, he also made one of his own. He said, “Actually, the apartment belongs to my friend. I am only perching with him.”

I told him again that it didn’t matter to me. “Just work hard and get your own place in the future,” I told him. A few days after that conversation he called me sounding very excited. “I got a job with my friend’s uncle,” he announced. He told me what was going to earn and we calculated how much he had to save to get his own apartment. It took him one year to achieve this, but we were happy regardless. He asked me to move in with him, and I did. Our lives were beautiful, and the future we planned looked more beautiful.

I got pregnant in 2016. It wasn’t part of the plan, so I thought about getting rid of it. However, Raymond didn’t agree with me. He persuaded me to keep it, “I know that we are not financially sound, but we will manage and make it work. And I promise to marry you after the baby comes.” So I kept it. My mother was disappointed when I shared the news with her, but what could she do?

By God’s grace, I had a beautiful baby boy in February 2017. And Raymond fulfilled his promise of marrying me. After our marriage, things got better for us. My husband established a workshop, and we have been able to afford a two-bedroom apartment.

Along the line, I realized that anytime our son got sick my husband would ask me to go and live with my mother until he recovers. I thought it was strange for him to make such a request from me but I didn’t question him. One day I returned from a visit to my mum earlier than he expected me to. When I got home, I found him drunk on his bed with his phone on his chest. I took the phone from his chest so I could position him properly, but something caught my eye. So I went through the phone.

It turned out that he was having an affair with a certain woman. They were exchanging explicit photos and videos of themselves. I am not being dramatic when I say that I almost died that day. I confronted him about it and he didn’t deny it. He rather apologized and promised to end things with the woman. About three months later, I realized he was still seeing her. This time I chose to speak to the lady instead. She told me, “I am not interested in marrying your husband so don’t bother with me. I was with him before he even married you. Focus on your marriage with him and let me also focus on my relationship with him. But don’t ask me to leave him, because I can’t. He is the man who deflowered me, so I hope you will understand.” No matter what I said to her she wouldn’t budge.

In 2020, I gave birth to our second child, knowing very well that Raymond’s mistress was still in the picture. Just recently, he told me that a colleague at work was involved in an accident and was in the hospital. Only for me to discover that it was his mistress who was in labour and was at the hospital. She has given birth to a baby girl for him.

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I confronted him and he said, “I am sorry, please calm down. I can explain.” I lost it, “The woman has your child, Raymond. What explanation can you give to that?” He said, “I broke up with her, but she came back telling me she was pregnant.” l fell sick and ended up in the hospital for four days. The doctor said my blood pressure had gone up. When we got home, I asked him for a divorce but he refused to let our marriage end. He is begging me to stay and accept his child. But I can’t do that. My heart won’t take it, and I don’t want to die young.

Now my problem is, I am ready to walk away but I am not sure if I can live my life without him. He is the only man I have ever loved and I dreamed that we will be together until we are old and grey. Now, everything is messed up because of his lies and his cheating ways. What do I do? I am very confused.

—Korkor

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