He wasn’t earning so much but that wasn’t a problem for me. I earned enough to complement what he earned. It was like that from the beginning until we got married. He tried to prove himself. He paid that and paid this. Bought this and that until he had nothing left. I told him, “We are married now so we share bills, the troubles and love. We share everything.”

I took over while he helped with what he earned. We bought land, bought a car he drove, had two children and had the grace of God. In six years, we had a lot to be grateful for but I was still the higher earner so I was paying more in everything we did. He said he wanted to go to school and upgrade so he could earn more. I paid his fees and pushed him inside his dream school.

One year later, my husband was arrested for embezzlement at work. The bail on his head was so huge it took my uncle to come to our rescue. I asked my husband to be truthful to me. “Did you steal the money?” He answered, “If I had that money, do you think our lives would be this rough?”

I trusted him and started looking for ways and means to pay the money. We agreed on an out-of-court settlement. We sold our land, sold the car we bought, I added my savings and he also added his savings. The money we raised paid 70% of what he owed.

One evening while my husband was sleeping, his phone kept ringing. It was on silent but I saw the phone’s screen. The same number texted; “If you won’t mind me, fine. I’ll keep the baby but remember things won’t ever be the same again.”

I’d never touched my husband’s phone before but that night I did. I went through their chat and realized I didn’t know the man I was living with. He had rented a two-bedroom apartment for this lady and was paying the lady’s school fees. He met her when he started schooling.

I woke him up with the phone in my hand, “There’s another woman on the side? What am I seeing?”

He buried his face in his palms and started apologizing. I broke into pieces. We were owing a lot of money because of him. We’d lost everything because of him. To know that we went through all that because of another woman got me livid.

It’s not easy starting all over again but trust me, it’s always worth it to start all over again without a man like my husband.

He didn’t want to leave so I brought men in to push him out of our home. Everyone is telling me to consider and give him another chance. They say he’s a changed man and wouldn’t go back to his old ways again. I’m a changed woman too. He changed me and I don’t think I’ll ever go back to who I used to be again.

He says he won’t give me a divorce but divorce is not his to give. We are still in the process but anytime I remember what I had to sacrifice because of him, my heart breaks again and I regret marriage and everything that comes with it.

— Eduwa

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