I started suspecting my husband was hiding something from me when his behaviour started changing a few months ago. I wouldn’t say that our marriage was perfect before this development but I can say we were in a good place. After six months of marriage with two children, and another baby on the way, how could that be bad?

Then all of a sudden he had two phones. When I asked him why he needed an extra phone, he went into a lengthy explanation that went round and round and ended up not making any point. It was just a phone anyway, so I didn’t stress over it.

Before I knew it, my husband was sneaking around on that other phone. He would text someone repeatedly. Then he would hide to make phone calls. It didn’t register at first but the more it continued the more I realized what might be going on. So I started suspecting him of cheating on me with whoever was on the other end of that phone.

I knew he would deny it if I asked him so I didn’t. I acted like I didn’t know anything. When the right opportunity presented itself, I went through the phone. Indeed, the person he had been chatting with frequently happened to be a woman.

Their text messages were suspicious but there was nothing concrete for me to say they were up to something. However, they spoke too often for people who would just be friends. They would send each other audio messages. And there was evidence they made video calls too. I felt a great deal of rage when I saw this but I said nothing. I just took her number from the phone and saved it on mine.

A few days later we were talking about his use of two phones when he said, “Oh, but I don’t even use my second phone much. The number I use for it is my private line. So only a few people have access to it.” That statement alone heightened my suspicions.

I had been quiet despite everything but this time around I felt the need to say something. So I asked him, “If the phone is so private, why are you video chatting and texting another woman on it?” Instead of answering the question, he got furious and screamed at me to stay away from his phone.

At that moment, I knew deep down that he was lying when he said she was just a friend. Who screams at their wife because of a mere friend?

Last week, I checked his WhatsApp again and saw the same woman’s number. This time, she had sent him a picture of a pregnancy test kit. It showed a positive result. My heart dropped immediately. I was even shaking at some point.

This time I couldn’t wait. I confronted him immediately. “You got your supposed friend pregnant?” I was expecting him to react with anger like he did the last time but he didn’t. He sounded like a defeated man when he said, “Oh no, you misunderstood. I told you she is my friend and I mean it. Her boyfriend is someone I work with.”

I told him I didn’t believe him and he told me I was a crazy person for accusing him of impregnating her. “It’s all in your head. How can you think this way of me?” So it’s not enough that he is up to something, he is lying and gaslighting me in addition. I keep asking myself how we got here.

I look at him and I see no resemblance to the man I fell in love with and married. He has changed so much. The man who once cared for me now acts like my well-being doesn’t matter to him.

With everything going on, I don’t feel happy in the marriage anymore. I told him I wanted a divorce but deep inside, I am scared. I worry about our children’s future what will happen to them if I leave? Am I making the right choice?

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While trying to decide what exactly to do, I decided to text the woman. I told her, “Since you are sleeping with my husband, continue. I am leaving the marriage so you can take over.”

She swore heaven and earth that my husband was just a friend. “Please it’s all a confusion. You don’t have to leave your husband because of this. He is my boyfriend’s friend.”

That Is The Craziest Thing I’ve Ever Done In The Name Of Love

They both sound so convincing but I know what I saw. Before the pregnancy test kit issue, they had been talking consistently for two months. Who talks to their boyfriend’s friend that much?

The fact that he won’t admit it even tells me he is not remorseful. Now, I am stuck in this emotional turmoil. What should I do? Should I leave the marriage for her to continue?

—June 

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