One thing that I admired about him was his love for God. He exhibited this through his dedication to church work. He never missed a single service. Be it a three-day convention or an all-night service. Whenever the church needed volunteers, you would see Bilbo’s name first on the list. As a church girl, I found that trait honorable. I watched him from afar while I slowly fell in love with him.

Unbeknownst to me, he was also pining for me. It took a while before he came forward with his intentions but the timing was right. I was in my first year in high school while he had just completed high school, yet he said he would marry me. We were in love so everything was possible. Young love is not easy to quench, you know.

He was my first love. We made up our minds to stay away from shuperu until marriage. We did everything with our future goals in mind. Along the line, he gained admission to one of the training colleges. As for me, I couldn’t further my education because of financial constraints.

When Bilbo completed school in 2018, he assured me that he would set me up with a business when we got married. This is my man we are talking about, he had never lied to me. If he said he would shoot the moon for me, he would do it. That was how well I knew him.

I agreed and we got married in June 2020. I got pregnant that same month. That was when Bilbo turned into a completely different man. It was after marriage that I got to know Bilbo was an alcoholic and a smoker. He showed me his true colours. He had no iota of respect for me. He would go out and drink and come home and insult me anyhow.

We never had time together. He was always busy outside with his friends. I endured all his behavior till I gave birth. I thought at least, the arrival of the baby would quicken his humanity. But he proved me wrong. Even after childbirth, he never changed. The least thing I would do earned me insults from him. I was miserable.

There was a day we had a misunderstanding concerning the business he promised to set up for me before we got married. All I asked him was, “When are you going to give me the capital to start the business?” My husband, the man who paid my bride price, looked at me up and down and asked, “When you look at yourself, do you look like someone who should sit in front of a provision (grocery) shop? The best I can do for is to buy you a fridge so you can hawk sachet water.”

I couldn’t believe this was how low the father of my child thought of me. I was so torn emotionally. That night I cried myself to sleep. I thought he would reflect on what he said and apologize later but that never happened. He behaved as if he was right about what he said. As if I truly didn’t deserve to own a provision shop.

When my child turned one year old, I told him I was going to visit my parents. He gave consent thinking I would return to him. I also packed my bags knowing that the marriage was over. I moved to Kumasi with my child and got a job there.

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After a while, I gathered some money and bought forms for one of the training colleges. God being so good, I gained admission. My father helped me with the admission fee and my mom also took care of my child while I was away.

Now, I am at level 200. Bilbo appears as if he has turned over a new leaf. One could easily name him an angel. He now speaks to me with respect. He even asked my father to stop paying my fees. “I will take over your education,” he promised.

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He wants me back but my mind is made up. I don’t want to have anything to do with him again. My parents don’t want to accept this. “Marriage is like that. It’s not a bed of roses. Everybody you go to will have a problem. So just make what you have work for you.” That’s their advice. They said he behaved badly in the past because he was the only one providing for the house. “When you start working he will change,” they said.

Please, do you guys think a man like my husband will ever change? I am very confused as I am here. He has always been a good father to our son. He provides all our needs. I just don’t trust that he can change. What do I do? I don’t want to make a mistake.

—Anna

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