My husband prefers to eat from his mom than eat what I’ve cooked. On Saturdays, he would go to his mom and return with soup, and different kinds of stews. I wasn’t bothered because it reduced the workload on me. And I couldn’t blame him for his preference. After all, it’s his mom’s food he has been eating since he was born.
He saw me eating kenkey with some of the stew he brought from his mom and he told me, “Aren’t you enjoying it? This is a stew, not the concoctions you’ve been cooking in this house. You should go and live with my mom and learn how to be a woman.”
It hurt like a new sore on my skin but I let it go. He wouldn’t let it go. He said it in front of his mother. His younger sister was there. They all laughed. His younger sister said, “How difficult is a stew that you can’t prepare it? I’ll come home and teach you wai?”
I was burning with anger but I gave a fake smile. On our way home I asked if he was happy the way his younger sister treated me. His response was, “Where’s the lie? Put your pride aside and allow her to teach you.”
I’m not a bad cook. I may not do it like his mom but I do it in my way and it works. All my life, no one has eaten my food and has said something bad about it. His mom and younger sister haven’t tried my dishes. It’s a conspiracy theory he has sold to them that I’m a bad cook. Because of that, his mother doesn’t relate to me the way she used to.
I’ve allowed this to go on for so long until I felt enough was enough. One day when he sought to demean me by using his mom’s cooking prowess, I responded, “Maybe if you were a real man like your younger brother, you wouldn’t have been bothered about food the way you do. When did you meet your younger brother in the house collecting food from your mom?”
His younger brother is wealthy. He has two maids in his house who do the cooking and house chores so his wife doesn’t lift a finger. He’s always envious of his younger brother because everyone respects him more than they do him. He has told me once that he suspects his brother’s wealth wasn’t legitimate. He hates it that his younger brother is held on a pedestal when no one cares about him.
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He got furious and shouted and insulted my generation for bringing his brother into the argument. He asked, “Do you know what he did for his money? It looks like you want to marry him instead so go.”
It looks like I hurt his ego so bad that he hasn’t been talking to me for a week now. During the weekend, he didn’t come back home and didn’t tell me where he slept. Low key I’m worried but I’m scared if I apologize, he would feel right and continue comparing me with his mom. What do you think?
— Eno
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Don’t let the sore fester it may become gangrenous. Then the only way out would be to amputate! Apologize and explain to him that you said that out of frustration from his criticism of your culinary skills. Assure him it will not happen again. I guarantee that though he may not reciprocate the gesture, he will be measured in his criticism going forward.
This guy is insensitive and lacks empathy. Where’s the love? He’s shamelessly ignoring your pain to go to his mother for food, and not leaving enough money at home. However, they say two wrongs don’t make a right, so find it in your heart to apologize to him, after a while, and let’s hope that he will change his ways. If he doesn’t, then the next time you will have to step up your resistance and bring in a third party. After all you also have a family; you can bring them in. You need your happiness too.
Your husband was very wrong, to humiliate you in front of his family as well as being immature in going for his Mother s food. However, please apologise for the sake of peace. Also, invest in upgrading your cooking skills. Not that your husband is right but just to improve on your self- learn some new things. pay attention to what he likes and learn a new way of cooking those things and other things too. It could be from a family member, a culinary school or even YouTube cooking channels like Sweet Adjeley etcCheers.
They say “2 wrongs don’t make a right” He is so wrong and acted immature. You on the other hand also added salt to the injury by insulting and comparing him with his brother. Have you ever sat him down to ask or tlk to him why he thinks your food is trash? Have you thought of asking him what he truly like and how he likes it? He humiliated you while his mom and sis laugh at you, he also won’t stop telling you the food is trash. To me, I believe it’s something worth working on and if you go for some culinary lessons or even go to your mom and get some lessons. I am not saying you can’t do it with his mom or sis, that’s your call. You should be glad and thankful that he is not keeping a mistress outside that’s cooking for him. Apologize to him and also make sure he does the same too. Happiness and peace will return back to the family for sure.
Your husband was wrong and 2 wrongs doest not make a right as everyone is saying but it doesn’t mean you should apologise to him. He’s not going to stop until you stand your grounds and fight for yourself. Truth be told, there’s no love here. He doesn’t respect you and he has paved way for his mother and sister to disrespect you too and that’s it. There’s a high chance they’ll never respect you again. Where do you meet these guys who treat you like trash and then you go ahead to marry them?
After all the hurtful things He’s been saying to saying, you didn’t sleep outside but you said 1 thing to him and his shame and ego is making him not to come home? I’m sorry to say you married a child and not a man. Yes you’ll be worried because you care about your husband but does he care about you? Ask yourself that and reflect on the things men who love and care about their wives do instead of shaming them in front of their family. Good luck.
You married a man child. Whatever you do, don’t apologise first, unless you’ll empower him to continue treating you shabbily. Most women would have made an issue out of his preference for his mom’s food, but you were surprisingly chill about it. Instead of him to appreciate you for it he had the guts to start demeaning you in front of his relatives and encouraging them to do the same. No man who loves his wife would hold an up as an object of ridicule for other people. Then you insulted him in private and he’s behaving like it’s the end of the world. Just ignore the fool,when he’s tired he’ll come back to his senses.
Your husband is totally WRONG!