We both agreed not to do it until marriage. I’m a virgin, and he told me he was too. The first thing we did when we started this journey was take it to God. Since we are in the same church, it was easy. We went to our pastor, who had always admonished us to bring our relationship to God for His blessing. He prayed for us and checked in on us every once in a while.

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We had dated for over a year, and everything was blissful until he started accusing me of things I knew nothing about. If I spoke to a guy in church for too long, he would tell me I was cheating. If he called and the call was on waiting, he would accuse me of seeing someone else. If I posted a friend on my status and he saw it, he would ask me to delete it and explain why.

Things didn’t sit well with me, so the next time our pastor checked up on us, I told him about it. My boyfriend was defensive. He said he was protecting me from bad men since women are easily influenced. Our pastor advised us extensively and prayed for us.

Later, our pastor called me and said, “The way your man is behaving towards you, he might be the one cheating. People often project their sinful ways onto others, thinking you’re doing what they are doing. Try to find out in any way you can.”

I went through his phone, and lo and behold, he was involved with three different women. What hurt the most was that one of the women is in the same church as us and knows about our relationship. I cried until he came and saw his phone in my hand. The first question he asked was, “Who told you to go through my phone?” Before I could answer, he said, “You’ve gotten what you wanted, right? Don’t ask me anything.”

It took days for him to tell me anything about the cheating. He said, “I thought you were doing it, so I did it too. And since I didn’t do it with you, nothing is broken.”

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?


The sad thing is, everyone knows about us, and it would be very embarrassing for me if the world finds out. I haven’t been able to talk to anyone about this, including our pastor. It’s killing me slowly, and I don’t know what to do. I want this to work. He’s the only one I see my future with. I want to forgive him and pretend nothing happened, but it’s not easy. If the pastor finds out about it, the relationship would be over—he would ensure that. What do I do?

—Sabrina

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