After her national service, getting a job became very hard for her. She relied on me for everything. I started feeling the burden of her demands when I had to give her a certain amount every week before she could survive the week. I didn’t complain but instead tried all avenues to get her a job. She had a friend, Barbs, who was also helping her to find a job where she was working. She always said Barbs was closer to landing her a job but weeks ran by and no job came her way.

She spent most of her time with Barbs. They grew up together. They went to the same school until they split when they were going to the university. I could understand the strength of their friendship and why she trusted Barbs than anyone else.

One evening, I found a job on the internet and sent it to her to apply. She looked at the requirements and said to me, “This job, I don’t think they will pick me. I’m only a fresh graduate and they are looking for someone with five years’ experience. How do I qualify?” I said, “There is no harm in trying. Just apply and see what may come out of it. After all, you’re not charged for applying.” A day to the deadline, I asked if she had applied and she said, “No I haven’t. I even forgot.”

I got angry. She told me, “I know where I fit and I know where it’s likely to get a job. This place won’t pick me and there’s no need to waste my time.” I applied on her behalf. A week or so later she called me, “Did you put in an application for me for that job?” I said, “Yes, I did. There’s no harm in trying.” She said, “They called me. They asked if I was available for an interview in the next two days.” I asked, “What did you tell them?” She answered, “Of course I told them I was available.”

She was very grateful and even apologized for not believing in herself. She went for the interview and returned with good news. She said, “I did very well. All the panels were nodding their heads while I was answering the questions. I believe I will get it.” I told her, “Let’s pray something good comes out of it.”

A week later she called to tell me that she didn’t get the job. She said, “A man called to tell me I’m second on the shortlist so if the first person doesn’t take the offer, I’m the next person they’ll speak to.” I said, “Let’s pray the first person rejects the offer.” I was always asking her if the man had called. She said no. I said, “Call him. Disturb him with your calls so he knows how desperate you are for the job.”

She didn’t get the job but she said the man had agreed to help her get a job because of how well she performed during the interview and how she had bombarded him with calls.

In my mind, that chapter of job search was closed so I stopped asking questions about it. Two months later, I started seeing changes in her lifestyle. She started dressing like someone who has it all. Every new day came with new things in her life. She started wearing new clothes that looked expensive. She started fixing new hair every week and started investing in different kinds of wigs and shoes. The weekly allowance I gave her couldn’t buy her those things so I asked her where she was getting the money. She gave me stories about her cousin in the US who had been sending her clothes and those other accessories.

As time went on, she stopped asking for the weekly allowance. Today, you’ll see a photo of her in an exotic place on Facebook. Tomorrow you’ll see another photo of her on Instagram eating an expensive dish in a plush restaurant. Whenever I asked questions, she got angry, telling me to stop being jealous. At some point, she told me, “I’m a woman so I will get some favors from men. It doesn’t mean anything. You only have to trust me.” I tried getting answers from Barbs. She told me, “I’m not aware that she’s doing anything wrong or going after men. I know about that cousin and I know she’s the one helping out.”

A few weeks ago, she came to my place in the evening looking worried. I asked what the issue was and she said she was ok. But I watched her closely for several minutes, she sat there whispering to herself. I asked again, “Is anything the matter?” She said, “Nothing. I’m only doing some calculations.” The next day she told me about a fight she had with Barbs. She said, “My mother warned me about friends but I didn’t listen. In my next life, no one will be my friend.” When I asked for details she said, “Don’t worry. It’s a girl stuff but I don’t think we can ever be friends again.”

The next day, I called Barbs. I asked what the issue was. She said, “Don’t mind her, she’s just being sour for nothing. She’ll come around soon.” It was clear that two had fought but no one was ready to give me the details. Since that fight, she started coming to see me often and even spent nights with me, something I had to beg for before she considered doing me a favor. One night I picked her phone while she was asleep and went straight to her WhatsApp messages. I read the messages between her and Barbs. Their fight was over a man called Julius. That name sounded familiar.

I looked for that name on her WhatsApp and didn’t find it. I typed it in the chat search and a lot of messages popped up. His name had been saved J.C. I figured he was the Julius. I went through their chats and the truth came out. The reason for their fight was because of that Julius—A married man with two kids. Julius was the guy who called my girlfriend after the interview to help her get a job. From their conversations, they ended up dating. So, it was the Julius guy who was behind my girlfriend’s new lifestyle. After some time, my girlfriend introduced him to Barbs and the three of them became mutual friends who went to places together. Along the line, she suspected Barbs was trying to cross the line with Julius. She asked Julius about it and he denied it until she went to Julius’ house one evening and found Barbs there, wearing only shorts and a bra. That was the night she came to me.

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I opened my mouth wide while going through the messages. “It wasn’t too long ago when Julius came into the picture? When did it start and why didn’t I suspect it?” When she woke up the next morning, I said, “Ayekooo. So, all this fight and bitterness between you and Barbs is because of a man? I thought Barbs had a boyfriend you told me they were close to getting married? What happened? I thought I was the only one, trying all my best to give you comfort. You found a man a few months ago and you hopped into his bed? Just because of money and a job he promised you?”

She sat there looking at me like she was watching a movie. She said, “It’s not what you think. If you read the messages then you’re getting it wrong.” I said, “Help me get it right then. Are you girls not fighting over a man? Is he not the reason your life has changed this couple of months? What did I get wrong, tell me?” She said, “Fine!” She got up, wore her dress, and left my place.

As I’m writing this, I’m looking for Barb’s boyfriend to show him the screenshots I took from her phone. He has to know the truth so the truth can set him free from marrying a woman who will fight her own friend over a man. That’s what the bro code means, looking after the interest of a brother.

It hurts. It really hurt that you make someone your all and the person decides to treat you like second-hand goods. She had tried on different occasions to explain things to me. If I didn’t read the messages myself, I would have believed her. I’m not giving second chances to someone like her. I will move on and begin again. It’s hard but it’s better than staying where you were once hurt.

–Tony    

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