For a whole month, I didn’t drive the car. I concentrated on my job and invested all my energy there. I went to work on Saturdays so I could earn some overtime allowances. I stayed late and worked extra hours with my boss so he’ll know the effort I was putting into my work. We talked often, me and my girlfriend. I wasn’t angry with her and I wasn’t affected by the change of event. My mind was made up. We would sell the car and share the money but after that, I will have nothing to do with her. One evening after work, I was home when she came around. She said, “We need to talk.” I answered, “What did you bring?” She answered, “Don’t worry, I’m going to spend the night here so talk things over.”

I didn’t know what to expect but when you’re dealing with a woman like my girlfriend, everything is possible. She could be positive today and give you negative vibes tomorrow so I braced myself for anything. Is she going to tell me to continue working with the car? That she’s no longer going to work with me? What is she going to talk about this time?” We were watching TV when she said, “So this is the idea. We have a car sitting here with a ‘for sale’ sign on it when we could have used the car while the sign continues to stay on it. That way, more people will see it and at the same time make money out of it.” I asked her, “So what do you suggest?” She answered, “Let’s give it to someone else. He can work with it just like you were doing. We can sell it quicker that way than leaving it to sit here.”

I said in my head, “Wow, so this girl never changes her mind. Does she actually think the car is our problem? All she has to do is give me space to turn things around but look at her?” I sat quietly for a while. Deep inside of me, I didn’t want to see the car go. All I wanted was a change of mind from her but she wasn’t ready so I agreed for us to give the car to someone else. I told her, “I know a friend. He was an Uber driver but currently doesn’t have a car. we can give it to him and see.” She retorted, “No, we won’t try your friend. I’ve already spoken to a guy in my church and he’s ready to start work tomorrow. I’ve already made all the arrangements so you don’t have to worry.”

The following morning, I drove her to her house and gave the key to her. I wasn’t even interested in how much the car was making and she didn’t see the need to tell me. The ‘for sale’ sign on the car had my number and her number. The first week that she took the car away, I had two calls from people wanting to buy the car. I was reluctant so I mentioned a high price that put them away. For over three weeks, I didn’t have any calls. I didn’t even see the car. When she called, we talked about the car but nothing was mentioned about anyone wanting to buy it. For a whole month, she didn’t mention the amount the person brought in. 

I went to her house unannounced one morning and saw the car. The ‘for sale’ sign was gone. I asked her, “What happened to the sign on the car? She answered, “It was only yesterday that I took it off. It was tearing apart so I decided to take the whole thing off. I will put another one there.” I sat with her and asked how much we’d made. That was when she told me the first driver she took wasn’t performing so she fired him in the first week. “The car didn’t work for over a week until I had a guy who was recommended to me by a friend of mine. He worked for a week but he continued making bad sales so I took the car from him. Someone new is coming tomorrow. I hope he does a good job.” I asked her, “So how much have you made since the car came to you?” She answered, “Oh they were not making any good sales ooo. Something small. I can’t even mention.”

I told her, “You’re destroying us and destroying our future success with your insecurity but you don’t see it. The problem we face currently isn’t about those drivers you took. It’s about you. Over one month and you can’t even mention an amount? How much was a bringing to you month on month? Do you remember? I believe you realize these guys were not performing when you checked their performance against mine. I’m reiterating my point again, no one chases women with an Uber car and still brings home the amount I was bringing home. If you can bring your mind home, we can make things work.”

This was me appealing for a second chance. At that moment, I had even forgotten my plan to sell the car. She is a woman. She would definitely have her flaws just like a man like me would have his flaws. All I was asking was, “Your flaw is too hard to ignore. Tone it down and let’s have peace,” but she told me, “It’s the car that was the problem. Immediately you got the car, you started missing my calls. You even had the audacity to leave me at a bus stop and never returned. I saw you when this machine wasn’t around. I like you like that.” I laughed and said, “My life is going to be bigger than just owning a Kia Morning. I’m going to own bigger things in the future. How would you deal when that day comes?”

So I left the car with her to use it the way she wanted. For three months he didn’t make sales. I spoke to my senior brother about it. I told him we could partner and own the car. I told him how much I was making while driving it. He fell for my idea and decided to buy off my girlfriend’s stake. When he was ready, I called her to bring the car and she did. Right there, my senior brother gave her the money, which was even more than how much she contributed but that was ok. We gave the car to my friend I wanted to give right from the beginning and he was doing well with it. The car was gone but I didn’t leave her. I was giving us a second chance to work things out.

Late last year, I got the promotion I’d been waiting for all my life. She was the first person I ran to. She was the first person I celebrated the news with. Her question was, “So you’re now the boss?” I answered, “Not exactly but I’m at a better place than I used to be.” Her reaction to my promotion wasn’t what I expected. She was lukewarm and simply indifferent. As if she wasn’t the one I shared the happiest news of my life with. Well, you don’t expect everyone to share in your happiness. Not everyone will understand what something means to us so I ignored her. My job schedule changed. I got busier but not too busy to ignore her. I remember telling her one day, “Get ready, we are getting married very soon.” She asked when and  I said very very soon. She was excited about it and even started giving me pressure.

I traveled to a branch for three days and when I told her I was going the first question she asked me was, “Which of your women are you going with?” I said, “What sort of question is that?” She answered, “Eiii, can’t I ask questions again? You’re the boss. What can’t you do?” The way she said it sounded like she was playing but all the days I spent out there, she only called me on video and I picked. She wanted to see how beautiful my room was so I went around the whole room with my phone’s camera, even to the toilet. She said, “Wow, it’s a nice room.” The next day too, she called in the evening wanting me to do that again and I said, “It’s better you come and check it yourself because I’m not going to do that work.”

Lectures. Accusations. Cheating suspicion. Everything was said that night because I refused to give her another room tour. 

You may think she has caught me cheating before hence that behavior but I’ve never been on that tangent. It’s always about the job and her so why? And the strange thing is, all the times we were together for about three years, she didn’t exhibit those signs of insecurity until the car came in. The car was gone so I expect something different but naaaa. I put it to her, “What has really come over you? What have you seen? It looks like you get scared anytime progress comes my way. What is wrong with you?” She answered, “Aren’t you all men like that? You get a little in your hand and the next thing you do is chase women. You think I don’t know?” I asked, “So, you prefer I don’t progress in life because I will cheat when I get it all?” She answered, “It’s all up to you.”

That moment sealed it for me. I decided to call it quit and have my peace of mind. By the middle of January, we were over. I told her that I couldn’t go ahead with someone who doesn’t trust me. She said, “You think I’m surprised? Just go and follow those women but remember where I picked you from. Common trotro fare you couldn’t pay for the two of us. Now your hand can reach your back so you want me to call you with a song? Go away but remember this, you’ll never get a woman like me in your life. I’m not cursing you but it’s a fact!”

I said in my head, “That’s the whole point of my leaving. I don’t like a woman like you so why will I go out there looking for someone like you? If it’s a curse for me not to get a woman like you, then I like this curse.”

We never spoke again until my birthday in March when she sent me a text and later called in the evening asking how I’m celebrating my birthday. She said, “Eiii, so don’t you miss me sometimes?” I answered, “I’m fine and I’m glad to see you happy.” She asked, “Who said I’m happy?”

She calls every now and then, checking up on me. She says we are not enemies. I tell her, “No we are not. How can we be enemies?” Yes, I know we are not enemies but I also know what else we are not. We are not lovers. 

–Patrick

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG