There’s an update to this story. If you want to read what happened after this, Kindly follow this link

We started dating three years ago. Before she said yes to me, she asked me, “What do you intend to do with this relationship?” I said, “I’m looking for something that would last me a lifetime.” She said, “Is it not sex that you want? Speak the truth.” I said, “The truth is what I’ve told you. I want this to be my last stop because it’s tiring moving from one relationship to another.”

The day she said yes to me, that very day she started mapping up a plan for our future together. According to her plan, we were going to get married after two years of dating because two years was all she could give. I said, “No problem. Where there is a will, there’s a way.” She is the only woman I’ve dated who never asked anything from me. I will buy her a gift and she will ask me, “How much did you buy that?” I will say something like, “You know it’s not right to know the price of a gift, right?” She would say, “Well, don’t try to impress me with anything. Just live right with me and I will be ok.”

I will sit in the same trotro with her and she will like to pay the fare. I will pay and she will also pay. It will turn into a mini argument as to whose money the mate should accept. In the end, the mate will return the bigger denomination and keep the smaller one. Men find women who want to be taken care of. I found a woman who wants to take care of me. I loved the care and the passion she had for the relationship until it turned into possessiveness.

Two years after dating, we couldn’t marry. She thought I was having doubts about her. I told her, “No I don’t have a doubt about you. There’s one more thing I have to put in place. Just give me a year—one year is all I need to make things right.” It was about the job I was doing. It didn’t pay much but promised a lot. I was in a position where I get the next promotion so I was always patient in my dealings. I knew the next promotion will come with an increment that will turn my life around. That aside, I saved a lot of money until my mother fell sick and needed that money to take care of her hospital bills.

When she realized the issue was about money, she said, “Find another source of income while you wait for that promotion.” I said, “I’ve thought of doing Uber but it’s hard to get the car.” She said, “If we are going to get married then we can both put money together and invest in things that will bring us profit. Why don’t we put money together and get the car for ourselves?” I said, “That’s a good idea.”

In February this year, we bought a Kia Morning after several months of saving and planning towards the purchase of the car. I registered with Uber and started riding after work each day. On weekends, I will start early in the morning and come home very late in the night. It wasn’t an easy job but when you know the dream, you work harder to make it a reality.

I missed her calls often. You don’t drive and make calls especially when you have a passenger next to you. It’s a breach of driving safety and every driver knows that. But anytime I was free, I returned her call. She started complaining. She said, “You don’t pick up when I call you until you decide to call me. What’s happening?” I told her the reason but she didn’t look convinced. Another night, I was driving a passenger through town when I saw her call. I didn’t pick. I called her when the passenger alighted. She said calmly, “I have to start going to work with you because I don’t understand this your new attitude.”

I thought she was joking until one evening after work she called. She said, “I’m working with you today so pass by and pick me up.” I asked, “How is that possible?” She said, “It’s possible. I sit in front, you pick your passengers to wherever they are going. I won’t interfere. I will just be in my lane. When we close, we come home together. There would be no room for suspicion when we go together.” I said, “No passenger will like that. They pay while you sit inside? Would you do that if it was you?” She said, “How did you know that? You went with another girlfriend and the passengers didn’t like it?”

Nothing I said made sense to her. To put her mind at ease, I went to pick her up. It was tough for me that day. Two passengers canceled the trip because of that. Those who didn’t cancel were obviously in a hurry and canceling it would have caused them a lot. She didn’t care. All she did was sit there and watch me explain myself to every passenger I had to pick. I told her, “It’s not happening again.” She said, “That’s how it’s going to be from now on, if not, park the car and let’s starve.”

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The next day she called, I didn’t answer. She wanted me to go for her. One weekend, she sat next to me as we roam around town. One passenger didn’t like the idea of her being in the car. I said, “I’m dropping her at the next stop so please bear with me.” She grudgingly accepted.” When we got to the next stop, I dropped her off and told her to wait for me. Immediately I dropped that passenger, another call came through. And then another, and another, until I was too far from where she was. When she called, I didn’t pick up. Later I sent her a message, “Pick a car and go home, I’ll come and see you after work,”

She sent a ten minutes voice note, half of it was an insult and the next half was she accusing me of cheating on her ever since I got the car. She said, “When you were walking around with those dirty shoes, no woman liked you and when I called you, you picked. Today, you have a car so you think you can treat me anyhow?”

I spoke to her. I explain everything to her. “I’m not cheating. If you look at the account I render to you after each day’s work, does it look like someone who goes around chasing women? I wouldn’t be able to bring home half of the amount I bring each day if I was doing women. Calm down.”

Her problem is, she’ll listen to you speak and understand what you’re telling her. She’ll be calm for two or three days and then begin again. Two weeks ago, I said to myself, “I’m sick and tired of all this noise in my ears every day.” I wrote a ‘For Sale’ sign and pasted it on the car. When she saw the car, she asked, “Why?” I said, “When we didn’t have this car, we were at peace. I want that peace back. I’m selling it, whatever we get, we split it. Period.”

I thought she was going to protest. She said, “I should be there when you sell it so I know the real amount you sold it for. I don’t like cheating.” I said to myself, “Coming events cast their shadows before them. When the car goes, the relationship also goes. If she can use her jealousy to destroy something as profitable as this, then what else can’t she do with jealousy?”

I still have the car. I’ve stopped driving it, waiting for good offers, and sell it. She still doesn’t know my mind. She thinks I’m selling the car to save the relationship. She doesn’t know I’m selling the car to save me from her. Am I doing the wrong thing here? Is her attitude not red enough? Don’t tell me to sit her down and talk to her. We’ve sat down too many times, my buttocks is paining me. We’ve talked about this several times, I don’t know what else to say. I believe seeing the red flag and moving on is the best option for us both. What do you think?

–Patrick

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