Somewhere in January 2010, I had an opportunity to travel to Kumasi through a friend to work in a company. After working in the company for three months, l asked my friend who helped me get the job to help my girlfriend also get a job. Unlike me, who attended technical school, my girlfriend couldn’t further her education after JHS. She was struggling to survive when I met her. By then I was doing menial jobs that paid me daily wages. So I supported her to start selling soap. She wasn’t earning enough from the business to survive, let alone save. That’s why I asked my friend to help her get something to do in Kumasi. Due to her educational background, the only job my friend got her was a house help job. Thankfully, she agreed to do it. She is very hardworking so her boss didn’t have any problems with her.

I worked with my company for almost two years and gathered some money, and with the help of my dad and some family members, l was able to further my education. I enrolled at Cape Coast Technical University in September 2011. I then advised my girlfriend to gather her savings so that I would help her go back to school. Both her parents were nowhere to be found so I felt the need to guide her through life and take care of her. God being so good, she was able to save a substantial amount of money and in September 2012, we helped her get into secondary school.

Because she was a few years older than her classmates, she did not want to go to the boarding house. She opted to be a day student and stayed in a hostel facility close to the school. This gave her the kind of freedom most secondary school students didn’t have. She had access to her phone so we always spoke at the end of the day. I also found time during vacations to visit her. Our arrangement was a good one. Then came the “dumsor” era in 2013.

It became difficult for me to get hold of Rose. Whenever I call her in the evening her phone would be off. The next day she would call me back with a heartfelt apology, “Did you try to call me last night? I am sure you did. ECG switched off our lights and my phone went off. Sorry you couldn’t get hold of me.” The first few days it happened, it was understandable. I even felt bad for her. I asked her, “How do you study at night when the lights go off then? Do you have a lamp, or should I get you one?” She told me she maximizes the daylight to study after the close of school so I shouldn’t worry about that.

As the load shedding continued, our communication became so bad that we were no longer talking every evening as we used to. If regular relationships suffer due to poor communication, then imagine what happened to my long-distance relationship. I don’t know how to describe this feeling but I felt a shift in our connection. It was as if something was interfering with our bond. And in my mind, that thing was ECG and their consistent power outage.

For two months consistently, there were no lights at Rose’s hostel at night. I became concerned so I asked one of my cousins who lived close to her hostel to be checking up on her for me. I also spoke to a friend of mine in the same neighbourhood, “Chale, how do you guys manage with the way ECG takes your lights every night? My girlfriend’s hostel is in your neighbourhood so I am looking for a way to make this whole “dumsor” easier for her.” My friend sounded surprised on the phone, “What do you mean ECG takes our light every night? Our lights barely go off. We are one of those lucky few neighbourhoods they overlook in their attempt at load shedding.” All I could say was, “I must have confused your neighbourhood for a different one then.”

Rose continued switching off her phone at night and then tell me the next day that it was ECG’s fault. I thought she had grown tired of the relationship and was looking for a way to dump me by cutting off communication. I wasn’t ready to lose her so I decided to surprise her at her hostel and spend some facetime with her and remind her of our love and all the dreams we promised to accomplish together. I got there in the evening because of the distance. When I arrived, there was light at her hostel. I called her there and then but her phone was off. I knocked on her door too but she didn’t answer. I could feel that she wasn’t in her room, so I took out my spare key and let myself inside.

READ MORE: He Rented A Mother So He Could Use Me For Two Nights

I called her number throughout the night and it was switched off. This time around I knew something else was going on. I saw for myself that she had light. And I came to meet her absence late in the night. Where could she possibly go to? As I mused over this, I dozed off. It was her shout of “Jesus!” that woke me up at 5:00 AM. That was the time she returned from her nocturnal adventures. And the shock of seeing me in her room caused her to scream. I didn’t ask her any questions. I just said, “You are welcome back. Have a nice day.” And then I walked away.

The look on her face was a collage of guilt, shame, and confusion. She was so shocked that she couldn’t even run after me. The emotions in my heart were raw pain. I don’t think anyone had ever hurt me like that before. The memory of how dishevelled she looked that dawn, and there was the musky smell of sex that accompanied her back to the room. I didn’t need anyone to tell me my Rose had been rolling in the sheets of another man. What hurt me more was the fact that she lied to me for months, just so she could be with him. I was probably just a means to survive for her.

For three days I ignored her calls. Then on the fourth day, she called me with another number. When I answered the call she said, “Kay, it’s Rose. Please don’t hang up. Let me explain what happened.” She started apologising and telling more lies to cover up her mistakes. I took it cool and told her that I’ve forgiven her, but in my mind l wanted to find out who the other guy was. Unsurprisingly, that same day she apologised, her line was off in the evening.

I called the other number she used to call me. She told me it belonged to her friend so I hoped to talk to this friend of hers and get some information out of her. When I called the number, it was Rose who answered it. So I changed my voice and my accent and told her it was a wrong line. Later, I called to ask if we could be friends, and she said yes. She even told me she didn’t have a boyfriend when I asked her. I was more hurt but I played along. Just one week after we started talking, I asked her to be my girlfriend, and she agreed.

The next night when l called her, a man picked up. He didn’t even greet me, he just calmly told me; “Please don’t call this number again. Whatever she told you is a lie. I am her boyfriend and I pay her school fees. She is not as single as she goes about proclaiming.” He was calm when he spoke to me so I also calmly apologised to him and hung up. They say the truth will set you free, well, not this very truth. This particular truth rather cut me into pieces.

When I confronted Rose about my conversation with the guy she denied having anything to do with him. She even denied me when I told her I proposed to her as another man and she accepted it. Her ability to remain in character was frightening. “This girl has a promising future if she pursues acting,” I thought. I couldn’t put up with her drama anymore so I walked away from her. I blocked all her contacts and made sure that whatever reminded me of her was destroyed or deleted. It wasn’t easy to get over her but I did.

Why Do Men Leave After Sex? –Beads Media

In 2017, l got a call from a new number. It was Rose. That was the day she admitted that she cheated on me, and lied about it. She apologized for the pain she caused me and I told her, “I forgave you long ago, but don’t ever think that I will take you back.”

A while ago, she called asking me for GHC10. She started narrating how she couldn’t complete the school after l left her, and all the disappointment she has gone through. “I am now learning how to sew. Things haven’t been easy for me at all,” she concluded. l nearly cried when she spoke. I sent her more than she asked for and wished her well. She hurt me badly in the past but I sincerely hope that things work out for her in the end.

–Kay

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