Growing up, I have been known to be a very helpful person at home, and even amongst my peers. I almost always go out of my way to get things done the right way or to mobilize people to get things done efficiently and effectively. However, I noticed along the line that, people tend not to pull their weight when they know that I am around. They know me enough to be assured I will go out of my comfort zone to ensure everything goes right.

In as much as I believe some people genuinely need help, I have realized that others do not appreciate the efforts of people close to them, but rather acknowledge that of strangers. I believe that, when I find myself in a position that can favour or help make life easier for those around me, I would not hesitate to do that. However, those meriting from that advantage seem to take it for granted.

Now to get to the point, I have been very supportive when it comes to the organization of activities of friends and families. I’m even more helpful to my friends. Over the years, I have acquired some knowledge, skills, attitudes, and connections, that have helped broaden my business scope. I have a master’s in Project Management from a very prestigious institution. So I take whatever I put my mind to, very seriously.

As an adult, there have been times I worked full-time in the corporate world, and there were times, I was been unemployed and ventured into a business to earn something for myself. Now, I have decided to take my business seriously and be fully self-employed until I get my dream job.

Due to this, I have had enough time to work on projects, most of which are projects of friends and families. I am into everything events; planning, organizing, coordinating, catering, and managing vendors and all other stakeholders involved in making an event a success.

I have been in this industry for a while now, but it has mostly been a side hustle. Now that I am fully immersed in it, I have realized some friends want everything to be done for them for free. They do not see the business aspect of my dealings with them.

Right from the moment they contact me to work for them, they wouldn’t even include my consultation fees in their budget. They wouldn’t add planning and coordination costs either. They just assume that I am handling that aspect as a friend.

Meanwhile, I pull all my resources together and work for them as I would for a high-paying client. Every opinion or suggestion I give, and the people I bring on board, always play crucial roles in their projects. These are people that under normal circumstances, my friends wouldn’t be able to afford their services.

When it comes to the catering side of my business, I have clear terms and conditions regarding payment boldly written on my invoices, yet, my friends flout the rules. They are the ones who even ask for the most discount, and never pay on time. I have had to deny services to some clients/friends due to their disregard for my terms and conditions.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to turn away some of my clients because they are the ones who bring in the revenue. However, I do not want to build a brand where friends will take my business and resources for granted.

I have thought about my relationship with these friends and I have realized what I have been doing wrong. I never give them an official invoice when they ask for my services, except for the catering service. They usually bring me on board as a friend, and I end up doing all the running around.

My problem here is, I have never helped a friend who has even thought of buying me airtime or data. They give me a list of vendors to contact but they don’t consider how much those phone calls would cost me. I have had to research to get them vendors that fit into their budget and concept. Even if buying airtime for me may seem to be too small for them, none of them have ever bought even a litre of fuel for my car, or even offered to do so.

They would just call or text me saying, “Please, can you meet me in town? I want you to give me a second on something.” Or they would say, “I am meeting a vendor, can you come along?” Sometimes too they ask me to run the errands in their stead. Their reason is, “You have eyes for good things. And you have the heart to handle difficult vendors.”

Initially, I thought I needed them to build my business portfolio, but I have realized that they actually need me more. When I have a meeting with them for the very first time to discuss the progression of events, I realize they have no idea about budgeting, journaling, concept building, or work breakdown structure; I mean, not a single clue on what to do.

I usually offer to help because their naivety puts them up to be exploited by vendors. I really love helping them, no two ways about that. I do that naturally. Ideas flow from my head, and everything comes together so beautifully. All I want is for them to appreciate my efforts.

I have planned and coordinated eleven wedding ceremonies since I started paying attention to this hustle, and it has all been successful. At this point, I can boldly say I am not an amateur, although I still have a long way to go. Recently, I had a misunderstanding with a couple who I can no longer call friends because they didn’t honour the terms of our payment plan.

What even pained me about all this is that I put aside my original catering charges, to accommodate what their budget could cover. Yet, things still went sour between us. Because of them, I have become strict in my dealings on the catering side.

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I want to know, where do I draw the line between business and friendship when most of my clients now are my friends? Honestly, I think I have proven myself enough for people to know I am capable of handling their events flawlessly. I have reached the age where my friends are getting married, and they tend to all ask that I help them with the planning and coordination of their ceremonies. The irony is, that people around me think I am cashing out big time due to all the busyness I find myself in.

I have read books and watched YouTube tutorials on how to be business-minded in my dealings, but I seem to do that better with strangers than with friends. Things become even more difficult when they add me to their team of bridesmaids, whilst I also act as the planner and coordinator. How do I then charge them for the planning services I’m rendering for the entire event?

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I sometimes ask myself, “Should I agree to join their bridesmaids or protocol team? Or should I insist on keeping things professional and only go on board as a planner?”

I need to hear what the readers on this page have to say about my situation especially, the ones who are working in the events industry or those who are entrepreneurs. How do you deal with friends and acquaintances when it comes to your business?

As it stands now, I am considering going back to the corporate world if things don’t change. I would hate for that to happen because I have too many hands-on skills and ideas to be wasted seated behind one computer in a corner of an office. However, that option is now looking like a safe place for me.

—Adobea 

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