Steve has been my friend for almost a decade. People don’t believe we are friends though. They think we are together we are together because of how close we are. He doesn’t live in Ghana but whenever he comes around, we are inseparable. Everything we do will make you believe we are the best couple to ever exist. 

He is always so supportive of everything I have to do. When he was in town too, we would cook together, eat together, listen to loud music and dance together, goof around like cat and mouse, and watch movies and football together. We slept on the same bed even. 

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I’m always happy around him. I know he is always happy around me too. The only problem is, he hasn’t proposed love to me yet. It bothers me because I get these sweet tingly feelings when I think about him. Nonetheless, I am a traditional woman in every sense of the word. So I don’t believe I have to be the one to make the proposal. 

Although I haven’t said it in words, I have done more than enough to prove to him with my actions that I am interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with him. I attend to his needs. I do this by running his errands, cleaning up after him, and shopping for him. Also, I pick him up from the airport whenever he comes to town. These are ways I show him I am ready to be his wife.

I have this friend, Charlotte. She knows about Steve. They met a few times but their interactions were mostly brief so they never formed any meaningful connection. Whenever I talk to her about him she would tell me, “Girl, he is a good guy. Hold on to him. Make it happen. Don’t let him slip through your fingers.” 

She is not the only one who encourages me to make things work with him. Even my family who know the bond we share, every once in a while ask me why we are not married yet. I tell them, “It’s not my fault. The guy has not proposed love to me yet.” 

My family decided to take matters into their own hands. They called him and asked him about his intentions toward me. He told them, “You don’t have to worry too much. I know Afia is a good woman to be with.” That was it, he didn’t say anything further. Whether he planned to propose or not, he didn’t say. 

However things progressed, I told Charlotte about it and asked for her opinion on the subject. And as always, she advised me to hold on to him and never let him go. I saw her as a good friend. I even envisioned her as the maid of honour at our wedding. 

Usually, when he comes to town, I am the only one who meets him. This time around though, I decided to bring Charlotte along. Before we left, I made a lot of preparations for Steve. I cleaned and prepared his favorite meal. That’s how I always do it.

When we got to the airport, he didn’t come out at exactly the time I was expecting him to. I got worried and started moving around to try and find him. Charlotte, on the other hand, sat on one of the benches looking through her phone.

In the sea of arrivals, we finally spotted him. Just as I was about to run to him and give him a hug, Charlotte beat me to it. She sped past me, even pushed me out of the way, and ran into his arms. I literally stood there with my mouth open in shock. These two are barely friends so what kind of welcome was that? I had no idea this was what she had in mind when she agreed to follow me to the airport. Their hug even lingered. I won’t lie, I felt a little hurt by her actions. But I kept my cool.

Right from that moment, Steve’s attention shifted from me to Charlotte. I started regretting my decision to invite her to the airport to start with. When we got to my place, these two were engrossed in a conversation while I was busy preparing to serve them. Honestly, the entire time I was cussing under my breath wondering if my friend came around to help me strengthen my relationship or if it was her goal to steal my man from me. 

After we finished eating, Charlotte went to town but her name remained in my apartment. That’s because Steve wouldn’t shut up about her. Every little thing I would hear, “Your friend Charlotte is so funny. She said blah blah blah.” It was like that throughout. Charlotte this. Charlotte that. It rubbed me off wrongly but I just smiled and indulged him.

When he eventually opened his luggage, he gave me my presents. Some were labelled friends and family. He hadn’t gotten cozy with my friend when he was buying the presents, so her name wasn’t part of them. Could you believe that when this girl came back and saw that he had given me a new phone, she ran to him and asked, “Steve, so where is my gift?” 

I looked at her in shock and wondered if the reason she returned to my place was so he would give her a present too. I mean, I didn’t expect her to behave the way she did at all. 

That night she spent the night at my place. When we were leaving for work the next day, Steve gave us a $100 bill to split. My friend said she didn’t want to share money with me. She wanted her own dollars. So he gave her $50. The moment he gave her the money she jumped into his arms, holding him tightly and saying thank you on repeat as if he was her boyfriend. Once again, I was shocked by his actions. 

Unlike in the past, Steve’s stay in town was not centered on me this time. It was all about Charlotte. He even took her number from me and went to visit her. Only God knows what happened between them when he went over there. 

When he came back, he insinuated that it was my friend who showed interest in him and that I never did. All because she kept jumping into his arms every chance she got. I have done everything possible to prove my love for ten years, but he is using somebody he just met ability to hug him as a standard to measure me by. 

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She became everything to him while I was busy making his meals and cleaning up after him. They even had breakfast without me. That hurt but not as painful as when I found out he left town without telling me. This was not us at all. It was always me and Steve. Now, it’s Charlotte and Steve.

As if they haven’t done enough, she is the person she asks of when he calls me. When I couldn’t take it anymore I asked him, “Are you interested in Charlotte?” He vehemently said, “Oh no, how can I do that? I know she is your friend.”

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I had the same conversation with Charlotte and she said, “Oh no, I don’t want him.” So if she didn’t want him why was she all over him? As for Steve, I am confused about what he wants. If for some reason he doesn’t see me as a potential wife but rather a sister, why won’t he say it instead of just stringing me along? 

They are both making me feel I am making stuff up but I know I am not crazy. I know what I saw. Anyway, I feel like this is all my fault for introducing my friend to the man I love. I thought she would know her boundaries but it turns out I didn’t know her well after all.

—Afia

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