I love Esi deeply. From the moment I set my eyes on her, I knew she was my missing rib, the one who was meant to complete me. I pursued her with the same intent. I told her, “I am not here to waste your time. I want you to be my wife.” She had a lot of questions. I answered all of them honestly. When she was convinced that I was indeed the one for her, she gave me a chance.
We’ve been together for two years now. And if all things go according to plan, we will be married before next year ends. With preparations and everything going on, I don’t expect her to do certain things. Things that are now causing problems for us.
There is a guy in her life called Caleb. I have always found her friendship with this guy unsettling. Any guy in my shoes would feel this way. I mean this is a guy who showed romantic interest in her about ten years ago. She turned him down but they chose to be friends. Even after he married someone else, their friendship continued. Now he is divorced but they continue to be close.
Recently Caleb invited my fiancee to an event in his community. He is a chief in the town. Esi accepted the invite but that’s not my problem.
According to what she told me, the event would end around 1:30 AM. It would be too late for her to journey back to her town. So Caleb offered to host her for the night. I expected her to say something like, “There is no way I will do that. It’s best I don’t attend the event then.” Instead, she told me, “So I will be spending the night at Caleb’s place after the program.” Tell me, what kind of man will jump with joy to hear such talk?
When I told her I wasn’t comfortable with her decision she misunderstood me. She resorted to calling me names. Possessive. Insecure. Controlling. Name it. “I told you Caleb is not a problem. I only like him as a friend. So why are you jealous of him?” she screamed at me.
Calmly, I explained; “Esi, stop and consider the fact that we are getting married soon. At this stage, we shouldn’t be spending the night in other people’s houses let alone be fighting about it. Will you be okay if I go and spend the night with another woman all in the name of friendship? No one will be happy if their partner agrees to this kind of arrangement.”
What Nobody Tells You About Cohabiting
She is protesting that nothing will happen. “Caleb is a gentleman. I trust him,” she says. Honestly, I am concerned by all her attempts at persuasion. I trust her but I find it alarming that although she is in a committed relationship, she sees nothing wrong with what she wants to do. What happens to prioritizing and preserving the integrity of the relationship?
I believe that no matter how free-spirited or friendly you are as a woman, you should have some boundaries. You shouldn’t take certain liberties with a man who is not your partner. Especially a man who has expressed romantic interest in you in the past and still harbours those feelings for you. Am I wrong to feel this way? She is trying to make me feel I am overreacting.
—Ofori
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Maybe nothing will happen. Maybe something will happen. The certainty you’re looking for can’t be provided by online strangers. Are you feeling insecure? Yes. Are you right to feel that way? Yes. Is your lady right? I don’t think so. Guest houses are available.
If you trust her, trust that she won’t cheat
You have to pull back calmly and let her ponder the Caleb relationship before coming to a final decision about the marriage. Obviously she still has feelings for him, but there’s nothing you can do about that. Leave her alone to decide who to go with. Fighting will not help. Prepare yourself for any eventuality, and play cool.
It’s a bad idea for you girl to be spending the night with another man. It’s not good enough and if she insist of attending that program, then you should consider pulling out of the relationship. Certainly she has developed feelings for this guy and she’s considering giving him a chance. The excuse of the programme ending late night is just a decoy
She’s not the right person to marry. If you were close to another lady and she didn’t like it,you’d draw away…nothing to do with insecurities,bruh. Avoid this one.
Must she even wait till the end of the event, knowing very well it would be late for her to return to her place at the closing time?
You are obviously in love so allow her go and don’t fight her, but just know he will sleep with her and it will be a consensual affair no force applied. And oh she will deny it but be ready to father other men’s children since you’re love stricken and can’t see nor think clearly.