
My dad is a security agent. He works for two different companies on a shift system, so he’s rarely home. My mom, on the other hand, was a trader. She owned a big provisions (grocery) shop. Even though it was a family business, she ran it alone. My dad only supported her financially and supervised whenever he was around.
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There’s this man we knew as my mother’s friend. He was mostly around when my dad wasn’t. He helped out at the shop, drove her to the market on market days, and sometimes helped transport goods for the shop.
To my dad, he was just a driver rendering services for our business. To us, the children, he was simply an “uncle.” But I started to notice things that didn’t sit well with me. This man was too comfortable in our home.
He’d come around at very odd hours. He would walk into our house without knocking. You would think he owned the place or lived there with us. And my mum didn’t mind. She would even cook and serve him using my father’s plates. Maybe, it wouldn’t have seemed off to me if this happened in my dad’s presence.
One day, I went out and came home quite late. While I was walking by the visitor’s room, I heard some noise in there. The place was supposed to be unoccupied so I got curious.
I walked into the room, turned on the light, and there in the bed were my mother and the driver in a compromising position. By this I mean, there was not even a stitch of clothing on their bodies.
I froze for a minute and mumbled an inaudible, “Sorry,” as I turned as I backed away from the room.
The next morning, she called me. She apologized. Said she was sorry I had to see that.
“Your father is a good man. I love him but he is always away. I know you are old enough to know these things but there are things you won’t understand until you experience them. This is one of them.”
She was right. I am old enough to understand their marital problems. That’s why I was surprised when she said my father was too busy to meet her needs. I knew for a fact that my dad always reported her to her family and our church because of intimacy issues. From the snippets I gathered, my mother always denied him access to her body. This has been the main issue in their marriage for years.
Regardless, I didn’t say anything when she justified her affair. I just listened to her and said okay.
“Promise me you won’t tell your father.”
“I won’t breathe a word of this to him,” I promised.
After that night, my mother became bold. She stopped hiding the affair from me. She’d cook and ask me to deliver it to the man. This went on for months.
I was uncomfortable with it but I decided to mind my business. I told myself she was not a child. She knows what she’s doing. If this is what brings her peace, then who am I to say otherwise? I’m just her daughter. What power do I even have?
By January, everything exploded. It happened late at night.
I was asleep when I heard a loud noise from the living room. I jumped out of bed, and without thinking, rushed toward the commotion.
I was horrified to find my dad fighting my mother and her lover. My father was furious. Violent. I tried to hold him back, but he was too strong. The only thing I could do next was stand between them.
It worked. It got my dad to restrain himself. However, my mother’s lover seized the opportunity and started insulting my father.
“You’re a weak man. Do you know why your wife stopped sleeping with you for years? Even your daughter supports us. She brings me food cooked by your wife, funded with your money. How does that feel?”
The brokenness on my father’s face when he looked at me crushed my heart.
He lashed out, “Pack your things and go live with your new father,” he said. “Since you support this nonsense.”
He said I was a traitor. I didn’t do anything wrong but according to him, I should have told him what was going on, not carry food to the man.
When he kicked my mother out, he insisted I follow her. Life hasn’t been the same since. Food, bills, everything is a struggle. He took the shop from her so she has nothing.
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She doesn’t even have the strength to go out and hustle anymore. As for me, my father cut me off completely. I was supposed to apply to the university this year but he says he doesn’t want anything to do with my education.
Every time I try to talk to him he tells me, “Go to go to your new father. You think he is a better man than me, right?”
I Was The Man In The Relationship And He Didn’t Like It
I want to know if indeed I did anything wrong. I was just minding my business. Why should I be punished for that?
I’ve tried to involve our extended family, but nothing has changed. What else can I do to make sure my father doesn’t abandon me? Can I involve the law? The most frustrating part in all this is that the man who caused all this has completely disappeared from our lives.
— Akua
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You reap what you sow! Why entertain such wickedness from your mum? You also said that she scaled up her cheating behaviour after you caught them red-handed. Always remember that nothing is hidden under the Sun forever. If the wind does not reveal it then the rains will or the earth will throw it forth.
Now that your father got to know that you teamed up with your mum and her new lover, your father is right for chasing you out of his house. If it were an Arab country, you three would have been stoned to death for allowing such nauseating thing to happen in the first place.
What you did was wrong since you knew your mom was at fault from the beginning but you decided to side with her. Your dad has every right to punish you. Life is a lesson never ever side with evil even if it’s your mom or dad doing. Use your sense for goodness sake. You have to go down and fall prostate infront of your dad to ask for forgiveness. You mom isn’t not a good wife so make it your mission not to become like her or you will suffer like you are doing or worse your kids will suffer because of your stupidity. I believe if you want to gain your dad’s trust again then you have to forsake your mom and put your interest first since she chose to be selfish and ruin her marriage and your life by involving you in her mess. This is the only way out till you complete school and is gainfully employed. Remember to give respect to your father till his last breath.
Ah but you paaaa were you expecting him to stay by your sides,in your dreams
You and your mum have known your smoothness level. You took your father for a fool. You now know the law and you want to use law. Go and use the law. Nonsense. Ain’t you 18 years??
You were an accomplise to them. If you didn’t support you shouldn’t have run the errand of sending food to him.
And that man’s aim was to destroy your family he succeeded. Because there was no need for him to mention you if he had any shame. Your Dad is hurt just keep on apologizing til he forgives you.
Even me I am hurt for your father because you have always known how your mum denied him intimacy yet you covered up for her all in the name of minding your business which you never did.
It is well Akua.
It’s so disheartening for a daughter to stab his Dad. No one can tell the chemistry between a father and a daughter. In most cases, fathers even love their daughters possibly more than their wives and are often committed to the daughter’s welfare than even the wife/mother.
If the above is true with your father as well, you can imagine how devastated he is for you to back your Mum to execute such grand betrayal. You certainly won’t have it easy dealing with him when the truth has been found.
Involving the law? It’s an outright NO for me. Family is not about law. Law does not create family bonds but it takes family to bond with a relative.
Winning or losing by the law will further tear you and your Dad apart. He may be compelled to do certain things by law but the father-daughter love or bond, you’ll never get and that could be devastating than the betrayal itself. I advice you don’t even mention this law thing to his hearing, please. It could do more damage than you can assume.
Minding your own business?
Well, there you have it now. Why don’t you continue minding your own business now that Daddy has thrown you out? You see, minding your own business has it’s positives and negatives. Knowing when to mind a particular business is stands out but not a business involving your parents, never. However and wherever that business ends or leads to will get you affected. You could have ended whatever was going by a threat of exposure instantly but…
Now, what should you do?
Your Dad is hurt not even because of your Mum’s deeds but the fact that you kept him in the dark and sided with your Mum. But one thing is certain, your Dad still loves and care about you just that he’s hurt and feel betrayed by you.
Go to wherever he is, workplace, home anywhere you can find him with a mind made up of not leaving his presence even if it means ‘striking you to death’ which I’m certain he won’t do. You should be remorseful and prove that you need him more than ever. Let it be clear you really regret your actions and I’m sure he will open his arms to you once more.
In all things, never let anybody to interrupt your family’s existence no matter how bad the family is. It is your family and the only blood family you can ever have.
Best Regards!
Stupid girl and you want us(silent beads ) to do what idiot you and your mum is very foolish and if am your dad i will poisoned you for hiding it too your own dad hey ajo nwa si otele ba afo nne ya
I’m even angrier than your father…you are even more than TRAITER u and your mother could hv conspired to kill your father. No mercy for the enemy’s friend. If I know your father sef I would advise him to disown you and cut u off completely. You self when u grow up and marry u will do worse than your mother, mtweeeew
Your mother is a very foolish shameless and stupid woman and you are obviously her child. You were just minding your own business? You supported your mother to commit an abomination.
Even if you didn’t report the affair to your father, you should not have become an accomplice. And when your dad was fighting them, you should have continued to mind your business.
There’s no hope for you, just continue to beg your father.
If you were truly minding your business, why were you delivering food to him, and entertaining him ?. You deserve what is happening to you, how can you say you’re minding your business while your mother is cheating on your father ? When I read the story I thought you were a even a child and that is why you did what you did, but you’re an adult🤦. So all the hard work your father was doing to take care of you guys, didn’t you notice it ? You’re a horrible person.
You deserve even worse. May God have mercy on you. Someone’s future wife I fear for whoever will end up marrying you as you are your mothers daughter. May your dad find peace and happiness and heal properly he deserves the best. I’m so angry on his behalf. Thank God he restrained himself and didn’t soul his hands with their blood people commit murder in such cases and even less.