The first time I met Alex I didn’t like him. He didn’t do anything to put me off. It was just one of those situations when someone makes a poor first impression, and everything they do after that seems off. I met him around my shop, and that very day he asked for my number. I had no interest in speaking to him on the phone so I did not want him to have my number. But I also didn’t want to turn him down and have him pester me for the number, so I just gave it to him.

Later in the day, he called me and we spoke for a while. Although I didn’t enjoy anything about our conversation, it was a welcomed distraction. I didn’t hear from him after that day. I did not also see him around until last year. The first thing he said when he saw me was, “Hey, can I have your number again?” This time around I told him, “No, I won’t give you my number.” He apologized for losing my number and tried to persuade him to just give it to him again but I refused. He asked, “So why didn’t you call or text me when you didn’t hear from me again? After all, you are supposed to have my number too.” Well, I didn’t save his number after the first call so I also lost it.

Alex is a taxi driver, and I am a student and an entrepreneur. I have nothing against his job, but he just wasn’t someone I would easily be friends or lovers with. However, he was persistent and it paid off. I gave my number to him and he made sure I saved his. After that day, he called, texted, and even came to my shop every day to say hello. Soon enough, I started to reciprocate the gesture. I called, texted, and whenever he came around, I smiled and was pleasant to him.

At some point, I travelled to the village without telling him. He called and was quite worried about me. He kept asking if something was wrong with me. Alex became consistent in my daily activities. He expressed interest in wanting to be my boyfriend. I was single and ready to be with someone, so I said yes to him. True, I didn’t love him in the beginning. I only accepted him so he wouldn’t have to pester me with the proposal, and also because I was bored. He didn’t bother to find out why I eagerly said yes to him. He was just so happy that I said yes. Compared to my past relationships, Alex was nicer to me. He was kinder, cooler, and cuter too. So gradually, I started falling in love with him.

Our relationship was devoid of any rule. We went with the flow so one day we had shuperu. We were both in a good place and ready for it. Things were good between us for seven months. Then out of nowhere, Alex’s behaviour changed. He stopped calling me. He stopped texting me. He stopped visiting. The relationship became a one-sided affair. There was no effort from his end to make things work. He never introduced me to his parents as he promised to do over the Christmas holidays.

I grew tired of him, so I decided to visit him and break up with him. To my surprise, he apologized when I got to his place and we became good with each other again. I expected to see a change in his behaviour after his apology but nothing happened. He kept ignoring me and blamed it on his work. However, he would complain bitterly when he saw me going out with my friends. I made him understand that I did not need his permission to have fun or go out with whom I like. He didn’t like it but he dropped it.

A year went by and we both respected each other’s space.  I became used to his behaviour. I started to ignore most of what he did wrong and accepted them as normal. Although I was tired of being in that kind of relationship, I could not leave him. I believed that he would change and go back to being my darling Alex again. There were men on campus who wanted me. There were others who came to buy from my shop just to get my attention. I don’t even want to talk about the sea of men in my dms trying desperately to woo me. I didn’t pay attention to any of them because of my love for Alex. One of my friends always made fun of me for being with a man she considered to be beneath my class, but I didn’t care. He was the only man I wanted.

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We spent most of our free time in each other’s houses. So when my birthday was approaching this year, I cancelled plans with my girlfriends thinking that my boyfriend and I would do something exciting together. I only ended up looking like a fool when my birthday passed without any call or text from Alex. Fortunately, my best friend swooped in and took me shopping before the day ended. A week passed after my birthday and I still didn’t hear from him. I became worried at this point. I called him to address whatever was going on but we ended up fighting. Our fights continued until early last month when he called to tell me, “Something happened. You are going to hate me after I tell you this and I want you to know that I am truly sorry.” I didn’t need an oracle to tell me that he was about to hit me with an emotional grenade. “Just go straight to the point and tell me what it is,” I urged him.

He said, “I got my ex-girlfriend pregnant. Now, her family is insisting that I marry her.” For a few minutes, I did not know what to do with the information. I also did not understand when and how he slept with this ex. Was it before we started dating or just recently? I was quite confused but I didn’t want to ask for further clarification. I was already tired of him so I just responded, “Okay.” I stopped calling him and he never called me as well.

One day we run into each other in town and got talking. I told him, “We live in the same neighbourhood so we are bound to keep running into each other. It will be awkward if that happens when you are with your wife. If I ever meant anything to you at all, kindly relocate to spare me such meetings.” He told me he would think about it. I was relieved to hear that but the feeling was cut short when I realized he won’t move.

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He lives with the woman in the neighbourhood now. One morning I saw them when I was returning from a fast-food joint. The sight of them made me lose my appetite. They looked happy. I must admit that I am jealous that he is that happy with her. They seem to love each other. So I am sitting here wondering why he came into my life knowing very well that I am not the woman he wants. At the moment, I want to relocate to another neighbourhood to spare myself the pain of seeing him look so happy without me.

–Eden

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