I have been in a couple of relationships that ended badly. So I decided to stay single and focus on making something out of my life. It just happens that no matter how hard I work, my finances don’t amount to much. In my struggle, I received a proposal from a guy I used to know years ago. Actually, he is an ex from one of my failed relationships.

No, the proposal has nothing to do with love or marriage. He wants me to have a child with him. That’s it. No relationship, no love, no marriage. We would only come together and do what needs to be done for the child to be conceived. After that, no more intimacy. We would just live apart and co-parent when the baby arrives.

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I asked him, “Why do you want a child with me?” I mean, this guy already has a child. Besides, I heard it from the grapevine recently that he impregnated another woman. This makes them two children. So why does he want another child, and with me specifically?

When he didn’t give me an answer, I asked a different question. “Help me understand why you want to have three children with three different women instead of settling down.”

This guy said he wasn’t ready for marriage yet, “I have to put one or two things together first. But when I am ready I will marry any of the three women who would have me as a husband.”

So once again, I asked why me. He finally answered me saying, “It’s because I have known you for a long time.” Then he said in all the time he’s known me, he had heard only good things about me. He never heard anything bad. “I know you. That’s why I chose you, or would you rather I go for someone I don’t know?”

The more we talked about the proposal, the more persuasive he became. He spoke to me about a land he had acquired. He said he was going to put up a building on it and the deed would be in my child’s name.

He also said he would build a store and set up a business for me. “I will do the same thing for the other women as well. That way the children won’t grow up and fight over property. They will know who owns what, right from their childhood.

He went on to say emphatically that it had always been his dream to have kids with three women. So my agreement to the proposal would make this dream come true for him. He even mentioned an agreement form he would make me sign to ensure I understood the terms of our arrangement. “The other women would sign it too.”

He didn’t seem like he was ready to let the matter go. So to give myself time to breathe, I told him I would think about it and let him know.

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While his proposal sounds crazy, I am considering taking him up on his offer. I gave my all to men and it didn’t take me anywhere. All I got was a string of betrayals.

Besides, I come from a humble home. All my efforts to help myself haven’t done much for me. Currently, I sleep in the shop I work in, while my mum lives in our family house. Tell me, if having a baby for this man means I get a house, then why shouldn’t I accept his proposal?

Who knows, maybe I might end up having a baby with a man who would later neglect us. So the thought of doing this makes me feel I would have control over securing a future for my child. Am I also crazy for considering this proposal?

Please I need advice. If you think I am not doing the right thing, kindly state it without insulting me. I discussed it with two of my friends and they said it’s a good idea. But I need more opinions on the subject. What do you think?

—Ama

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