When he was taking me home to meet his mother, he warned me about the mental health situation of his mom. He told me she hadn’t been stable mentally since the demise of her husband. She goes off-key and rants about things I might not know about so I shouldn’t be bothered if that happened.

I was worried about her immediately. I asked what they had done about it. He told me they had tried but the woman didn’t take her medications hence the mood swings.

The woman I saw didn’t look like who Abbey described to me. This woman looked calm, reflective and chose her words carefully. For a woman in her sixties, she looked quite young.

The introduction went very well. She shook my hand and told me I was welcome into the family. She told me about her husband, Abbey’s father and how he would be happy to meet me. When my boyfriend left the scene, his mother asked for my number and I gave it to her. She gave me her number too and asked me to call whenever I needed motherly advice.

Everything was fine with her. She didn’t say anything she wasn’t supposed to say. And she didn’t act in a manner you would say was strange. I told Abbey, “She looks fine to me. She’s warm actually and I love her.” He told me we met the best version of her and was grateful for that.

We were a year and a half old together. He talked about marriage when we were only six months old. I didn’t want to be married. Where I was in life wasn’t favourable for marriage so I told him. He insisted things would change after marriage so we should do it. I didn’t agree. I asked for at least a year more to think about marriage. He didn’t take it lightly. We fought over it. He said I didn’t love him that much or I had someone in mind I was waiting for.

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When I caught him cheating months later, he used that as an excuse; “You made me feel inadequate because what woman wouldn’t say yes to marriage?”

He apologized. He showed remorse. He promised it wouldn’t happen again. It was a slow journey to forgiveness but we got there. That episode left a mark on my mind. A mark that said my man was capable of cheating again so I should monitor him.

I did my best. I didn’t see anything for a very long time. I concluded he wasn’t cheating again or he had become a master of hiding his tracks.

After meeting his mom and agreeing to marriage preparation, I saw a spark in him. He was excited about little things. He talked about our wedding at the slightest chance. You’ll think it’s women who love weddings until you meet my boyfriend. He made the whole wedding a thing and talked about it every day.

His mom called one day and asked me to send her call credit. I did without hesitation. She came again and again until she asked me to send her money. She was specific about the amount she needed from me and warned me not to tell my boyfriend. “This is woman-to-woman. I’ll tell you later what I’m using the money for.”

I sent it to her but not without hesitation. I knew my boyfriend was sending her a monthly allowance. Not only him, her other children did the same so money wasn’t a problem to her. I told myself I wasn’t going to talk about it with my boyfriend but if it becomes a thing like the way she called to ask me to send her call credit, then I would have no option but to discuss it with my boyfriend.

The next time she came asking for money, she asked twice the amount I sent her previously. I asked, “But mom, Abbey told me he sent you money a week ago.” She responded, “That was two weeks ago. That money is finished but he won’t give me again so please send this to me and you’ll be my favorite.”

I started thinking of what my boyfriend told me about her mental state. I decided not to send her the money though I wasn’t going to tell Abbey about it. She called morning and evening asking when I was going to send it. When I told her I didn’t have money, she screamed, “And you want to marry my son? Francisca sent me GHC1,000 without complaining. When I asked Becky to send GHC200, she sent me GHC500 but you can’t send GHC500? I’ll tell him to leave you and concentrate on the others.”

“Wait. You mean these ladies are also Abbey’s girlfriends?”

She cut the call and didn’t pick up my calls afterwards. Again, the story of her mental health came to the fore. “Or it’s one of those things she talks about when she swings?”

I asked Abbey who Francisca was. He was stunned. He asked where I got the name from but I didn’t answer. I asked, “And Becky too, who’s she?” He went mute for a while before saying, “Are you talking to my mom? She has been telling you about these women, right? Speak the truth.”

When I accepted it was his mom who told me, he responded, “Those are women in her head. There’s no Francisca. All my life, I’ve never known any woman called Francisca. I know a lady called Becky but she’s not even my friend yet my mom calls and asks me about these women. I told you she’s not stable. Don’t engage her.”

He sounded and acted convincing but this is a man who cheated on me because I didn’t agree to marry him when he wanted it. What can’t he do?

He called his mom and put her on a loudspeaker. The woman answered his questions calmly as if she was dazed. When Abbey asked about Francisca, she asked him, “Who’s that?” Abbey replied, “You said she sent you money.” She laughed. “Nobody has sent me money ooo, I beg you.”

I wanted to believe he was being truthful until his mother called the next day and insulted me for bringing Abbey into our issue. She was so angry her voice sparked lightning on the phone. She warned me not to come to her house again. She said, “The rest have never done that. You just came into the picture and you want to destroy the relationship between me and my son? It won’t work.”

Now I don’t know who to believe. The mother sounds very sane when talking about the other women. Abbey sounds very convincing using his mother’s mental state as a defense. We are not yet married, but our future marriage is already suffering chaos. I don’t want the marriage again. Not because of what his mother said about the other women but because I wouldn’t like to have a mother-in-law like her.

He Got Me Pregnant And Also Got His Ex Pregnant

She doesn’t like me and she has made it clear. Looking at what she says and does, it will be tough for me to know when she’s acting from a conscious state of mind and when she’s acting her mental health out. I’ve told Abbey I’m out. He doesn’t want to let me go. He’s here every day, telling me to ignore his mom. I don’t know what to do now. He sounds convincing but his mom also sounds convincing about her hatred for me.

Forget about what she said about the other women. Do you think this woman will make marriage easy for me?

— Sally

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