My boyfriend wanted me to get pregnant for him before he would marry me. I said I wasn’t going to do it because I’m a woman who loves marriage. “I will only give birth when I drop my last name for the name of the man who married me.”

Along the line, he travelled abroad. He took a loan from me for his trip. I was hoping the distance between us would make him reconsider the idea of a child before marriage but unfortunately, he was deported. That didn’t make me love him any less.

A year later, he said the same thing. He even garnished it a little; “If you gave birth the time I told you to give birth, our child would have been walking by now and calling me daddy.” I asked why he wanted a child before marriage. The first time I asked, he didn’t give any good reason. This time around he said, “What if we marry and you don’t give birth?”

I told him, “If a year after marriage I don’t get pregnant for you, you can leave me and I won’t blame you.”

He lives with his mom and the mother liked me a lot, I thought.

One day, I went to the house and saw a little boy in the arms of my boyfriend’s mom. I picked him up because I love kids very much. When I asked about the kid, she told me he was her first daughter’s son and he had come to live with her because her daughter would be traveling.

My boyfriend travelled one weekend and all calls to his phone weren’t going through. I went to his house to ask his mother about his whereabouts but his mother wasn’t around. One of the people in the house called me on the side and said, “They are fooling you. Your boyfriend and his mom. That child you see with her is your boyfriend’s child. In fact, he’s getting married to the mother of the child as we speak.”

I thought it was a lie. When he came and I asked him he told me it wasn’t true. He had the audacity to say to me, “You can even ask my mom. How can I marry someone else without your knowledge?” His mom backed him up but the marriage was true. I called his senior sister with an unknown number and asked her about her brother and his new wife. She spilled all the truth to me unknowingly.

When he realized I’d caught him flat, he said, “It’s just a traditional marriage. It doesn’t mean I’ve married her.”

He owed me some money I knew he wasn’t going to pay. The loan he took for his failed trip. I went to his room and took the TV on the wall, the fridge, and the microwave. I was coming back for the sofas when I met him in the house. It turned into a big fight but my senior brother and his friends were with me so he couldn’t overpower me.

Later, he came asking for change because I’d taken more than he owed me. I sent men after him and he stopped coming.

How far can a man go with lies? But I blame his mother too and ultimately thank God for taking me out of such a family.

—Edith

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