My boyfriend only goes home once a year, usually in December. At the beginning of this year, I asked him about the future of our relationship. We agreed that he would take me home this December to meet his parents, and from there, we’d move forward. He insisted I couldn’t speak to them until I’d met them in person and they had approved of me.

I’ve been waiting all year for this. I even saved up money to buy my own ticket if necessary. In November, I asked him if we were still going. He told me it was possible his parents would come here for Christmas instead, so I should wait a little longer.

I trusted him and kept my hopes alive. But by early December, when I asked again, his response felt dismissive. “Why can’t you keep quiet and wait for me to bring it up? Must you ask me every minute?”

We met two summers ago. Both of us originally came here for school, and after graduating, we decided to settle here permanently. When he proposed, I accepted, and we moved in together. We share everything—there’s no “mine” or “yours,” just “ours.”

But I’ve seen how things play out here. Men live with you for years and then suddenly leave you for someone else, especially women from the Asian culture. That’s why I wanted clarity about our future early on. I want something permanent—or at least a clear path forward—but my boyfriend isn’t being straightforward.

As I write this, he’s in Ghana, and I’m still here. He didn’t take me with him or even inform me beforehand. One morning, he simply said, “I have to go alone because my parents aren’t in the right frame of mind to meet you.”

When he realized I was upset, he tried to pacify me by saying, “When I come back, we’ll marry here and inform them later. After that, we can go and see them.”

This is the same man who once said his parents’ approval of the woman he marries is extremely important to him. Now, he’s suggesting marrying me without their consent. Does that sound genuine to you?

How a Long-Distance Relationship Unveiled His Double Life


I feel like letting go. In fact, I want to end things before he returns at the end of January. I believe he’s hiding something from me, and he’s not being honest in his dealings. Love is about the openness of the soul to each other. I’ve opened mine so wide but he can’t leave his ajar for me.

Am I being too drastic? Should I give him more time? Or is it time to walk away?

— Anoa

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******