Our relationship will be one year old next month. When he proposed to me, it was with the promise of marriage. So I didn’t take long to take him home to meet my mum. They got along very well and this made me happy. I didn’t want to be the one to ask him to introduce me to his family. I felt this was something he had to do on his own terms. I was curious to meet them to gauge how well they would receive me but I waited patiently for it to happen.

After many months in the relationship, Manuel had still not spoken about introducing me to his family. He spoke about them quite often. He showed me their photos as well. I hadn’t met them in person but I had heard enough about them to feel like I knew them personally. All that was left was for a physical meeting to be arranged. When I got tired of waiting for him, I took the bold step and asked him, “When do you intend for your family to meet me?” He went quiet at first, then scratched his head and started fumbling to find the right words for me.

I asked him why he hesitated to answer and all he gave me were excuses. When I pushed, he gave me a date. When the date arrived, he found a way to cancel. From there we were just going in circles. Today he would tell me, “I will take you there tomorrow.” When tomorrow arrives he would say, “Something came up. Can we make it another time?” We went back and forth until the misfortune happened last month when he lost his mother.

It was during that period that I got to know his family house. I went with my mother to offer my condolences to him and his family. Although things would have been better under different circumstances, it was the right time for him to introduce us to his family so they would know about me. Could you believe that this guy introduced me to his people as his colleague from work instead?

We used to work together before we started dating so it wasn’t entirely a lie. However, it wasn’t the truth either. Why would a man introduce his girlfriend to his family as a colleague from work? It’s not as if we are teenagers hiding from adults. I am almost thirty for crying out loud.

When we left his family’s presence, he started explaining things to my mum unprovoked. “At the right time we will do a proper introduction,” he said, “right now things are too chaotic.” My mum nodded and acted as if she understood. When we got home though, she let me know that the whole thing seemed sketchy to her so I should be careful.

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I also thought about the fact that I had invested so much into the relationship while he did the bare minimum. And there was the fact we started having problems when I asked him to introduce me to his family. I then asked myself if truly, I am the only woman in his life. I didn’t want to confront him about these things while he mourned his mother. So I waited.

Last weekend I visited him unannounced. His place didn’t look like he had been alone. There were traces of another woman’s presence in his room. I seized the opportunity to ask him if he was seeing someone else apart from me. He denied it vehemently. All I said was, “I will find the truth out for myself.”

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The next thing I knew, he was playing the victim saying I hurt his feelings by not trusting him. “I am sure the reason you have doubts about me is because you are the one cheating on me,” he accused. When I tried to assure him that I was doing no such thing, he closed his ears to me.

This whole situation is beginning to stress me. I already have high blood pressure due to my previous relationship. So I am invested in my peace now. Will I be wrong to walk away from Manuel considering everything that has happened so far? Or I should be more patient with him?

— Mamle

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