I didn’t know he was married until our relationship was three months old. I’d come to love him and it didn’t look like I could let him go. I was hurt to the core. I wanted to hit him. I screamed, “Why are you telling me this time?” He answered, “I’ve realized I love you truly so I have to tell you the truth. The truth is, I’m married but we are going through a divorce.”

He wasn’t lying about the divorce part. The only problem I had with him was the fact that he was living with his soon-to-be ex-wife in the same house. He told me they built the house together and were waiting for the final divorce verdict so they would know how they were going to deal with the house.

He spent most of his nights at my place. When his soon-to-be ex-wife called, he put it on a loudspeaker so I could hear what they were talking about. It was always about, “Are you coming home or I should close the door?” He would answer, “I’m not coming tonight.”

Then I found his soon-to-be ex-wife pregnant. I was like, “How did that happen? The most embarrassing thing for me was that I never thought it was my boyfriend who got her pregnant because, in my mind, they were too far gone with the divorce that pregnancy wasn’t possible.

When I asked him he told me, “She’s doing that to spite me but it doesn’t bother me at all. The only thing I’m concerned about is our kids.”

When the woman delivered and photos were posted, I saw this man wearing a white Kaftan and holding the baby on his chest with his soon-to-be ex-wife next to him. The log in my eyes came off. I called him immediately and asked what was happening. He told me, “I was there just to show support. She’s going to be my ex doesn’t mean we are enemies?”

Along the line, the two of them made up and decided they were going to stay married. He didn’t tell me about it. When I found out the whole truth he said, “She doesn’t love me and I don’t love her. We are together because we don’t want to let the house go.”

I’m still with him. I’m stupid I know. I should have left him long ago but something tells me the wheels of their relationship will come off at some point and I want to be there for him to choose me.  At this point, I’ve had enough and want to let go but I don’t have the energy to leave. Please help. How do I run from this without looking back?

— Fidelia 

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