It doesn’t take too much effort to know how much Elvis loves his job as an engineer. The first time I met him, it was all about his job and how awesome his job was. He never talks about how good his job pays him. It’s all about how much he loves his job. He’s an engineer in the petrochemical industry. He’s been working there for the past five years and it was through his work that I got to meet him.

The first day we went out, I realized how casually he dressed. There’s a way a person dresses that tells you that he doesn’t care about himself. That was just the way he was dressed. I took it as he didn’t know that I was taking him to that place. “Maybe, if told him, he would have dressed for it,” I told myself.

Then he invited me to dinner one night. He mentioned the place and I was excited because I knew how exquisite that place was. I was there before him. A few minutes later, he walked in wearing nickers and a t-shirt, matched with white slides. I looked around if I would see anyone dressed like him. The men I saw there were well dressed for the moment. I was a little bit surprised by his choice of clothes but I didn’t complain. He made me looked like I’d overdressed for the occasion, meanwhile, I was wearing only a simple straight dress.

We had a beautiful night regardless and it was that night he proposed to me. You can’t judge a man only by the way he dresses so I accepted his proposal. He’s hardworking. He’s funny sometimes. He’s super intelligent and has a job many people would die for. Those were the things that made me say yes to him. I told myself, “As for his sense of fashion, we can always find a way to work around it.”

The first day I went to his house, my interest was in his wardrobe. I checked and didn’t see much apart from t-shirts, brown khakis and some pair of jeans. Nothing fancy. My first gift for him was a pair of suits. We were out chilling when I found the suit shop. I pulled him in and asked him to pick a color. He said, “I didn’t plan to buy suits.” I said, “I feel like giving you a gift today so pick it and I’ll pay.” He picked his favorite color, tried it on and I paid for it. He was grateful. He said, “You’re the first woman to buy me anything this expensive.” I said, “I’m happy to hear that.”

Another weekend when I was going to his house, I bought two shirts for him. I had the suit in mind when I was buying the shirt so I bought something that will match the suit. Again, he was happy. When I invited him to a friend’s wedding, I thought he was going to wear the suits and shirts I bought him but no he didn’t. He decided to wear khaki trousers and some old t-shirt to the wedding. It was that day that I decided to talk about his style of dressing for the first time.

“You don’t like the suit I got you?”
“I loved it. Why do you ask?”
“I’ve never seen you wore it. So maybe you don’t like it that much.”
“Not that at all. I love to look simple. Suit is not my thing but there will be a day for it.”

I said, “That’s my problem. You take the simplicity too far. Yeah, it’s good to be simple but when the occasion calls for something trendy, you wear it.” He said, “You don’t like the way I dress?” I said, “I’m saying you can do better.” I thought I was going to see some changes soon. I spent the weekend with him and decided to attend church service with him. I picked the clothes he would wear and ironed them for him. Immediately he saw it he said, “It’s a church we are going not a presidential inauguration.” I asked, “What’s the difference? God deserves better.” He said, “He created everything. We can’t impress him with the way we dress.”

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He didn’t wear the clothes I chose. He wore something I thought was disgusting. Because of that, I didn’t go to the church with him that day. When he came back he was angry with me. He said, “Why are you trying so much to change me?” This is who I am and I’m comfortable looking like this. Who do I have to impress?” I didn’t say anything but I made it a point not to talk about his dressing again.

We’ve dated for five months now and nothing has changed. He wears his white slides to church and to restaurants and virtually everywhere. You attend a program with him and all his colleagues are sharply dressed except him. I’m beginning to worry. A man with his mind and success would be a world changer if he adds a little bit of suave to his character but this guy doesn’t see it the way I do. He thinks I’m trying to change him. He thinks I should love him just the way he is because that’s how true love goes.

I love the cake but it’s the icing that makes the cake worth the bite. Am I wrong to want my boyfriend to dress well? Is it too much to ask? Can’t a lady make a prince out of what she has? Maybe I’m asking for too much or as my friend would say, I’m going after vanities instead of substance.  I need advice. Is there a way I can turn things around? How do I go about it so he doesn’t think I’m trying to change him?

–Betha

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