I signed up to volunteer for a charity organisation run by catholic sisters after I completed my university education. Initially, I started doing this work to occupy myself as I wait to graduate and get a job. However, my experience here has rekindled in my heart a childhood dream I once had.

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I wanted to be a nun since childhood. However, as I got older I drifted away from that dream a little. I even have a boyfriend I have been with for two years. I was planning my future around him. His family knows me very well. His mother, especially, adores me.

Although I am only 22, our plan was for me to get a stable job so we’d start marriage preparations. All of that has changed now. Working with the catholic sisters has awoken something in me. Or let me just say that I have fallen in love with their life of service and charity.

I know they live a simple life. They can’t get married and have kids, I understand. Their purpose is to serve others and that is what draws me to them. The way they feed hungry children, visit sick people, and show kindness to everyone they come across is a calling I am ready to answer.

I explained this to my boyfriend. I didn’t try to end our relationship. I know this is not something I can just jump into. I need to take my time, to make sure this is a path I truly want to dedicate my life to. I have been thinking and praying but my mind is a bit divided because my boyfriend is in the picture.

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So I told him, “Let’s take a little break so I can have some space to do some introspection and make a decision concerning my future.

I expected him to be understanding but unfortunately, he overreacted and ended the relationship. He doesn’t believe I want to join a convent. “Why don’t you just admit that you’ve left me for another man?” He accused.

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After all the love we’ve shared over the last two years, I am surprised he has jumped to the conclusion that this is just something I am saying to push him away so I can go and be with another man. His accusations hurt me deeply.

I have tried to explain my feelings to him but he is acting like a jilted lover. He says I have taken him for granted. I want to gracefully let him go but I feel sorry for his mum. Who would she believe? What if she also thinks I have taken her affection for me for granted?

Right now, I feel so torn between what my heart desires and the pain of this situation.

—Theresa

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