My boyfriend is showing me some signs that are making it hard for me to understand the kind of love he has for me. We’ve dated for almost a year. He doesn’t give me anything. I’m not the kind of woman to ask for things, but even when I summon the courage to ask, he gives me excuses. He sees me as a woman who has it all and doesn’t need help. If I tell him about the struggles I go through, he listens and assumes I’m telling him all that because I need his money.

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I have a 9-5 job that pays. I also own two shops that bring in additional income. I still want more, so every little I get, I invest back in my business.

I had a business idea and discussed it with him so the two of us could put money together and do it. He told me it was a good idea until I asked him to invest.

Then he started giving me excuses. Today this, tomorrow that. I didn’t wait for him. I carried all the money I had and invested it into the business. To be honest, life became very hard for me during those days. Those were the days I called him for help. As little as GHC2,000, this guy gave me all sorts of excuses until much later, he gave me GHC5,000.

I was thankful because it helped. I cook for him and he would come for it and wouldn’t give me anything. He would spend the weekend with me, eat my food, and drink everything drinkable and still would not leave anything behind.

All that aside, he would go to my shop and take things from the shop using my name. Sometimes the ladies would call and verify if I sanctioned it, but because I don’t want to create a bad impression before my workers, I tell them to give it to him.

Recently, he went to one of the shops, took items, and asked the ladies to give him money too. When they called, I asked them to give him the phone. He said, “Come and look at your girls. I’m here collecting money and they are behaving like I’m a stranger. Or you’ve told them something about me?”

The entitlement in his voice got me angry. I told him, “Put whatever you took back and leave the shop. And never go there again without informing me first.”

This issue caused a lot of problems in our relationship. He said I’ve caused him embarrassment in front of my workers and was asking for apologies here and there. Gradually we’ve been able to settle the issues, but I think I no longer want the relationship again.

Three Months After Our Breakup, He Got Married

Everything we went through has taught me that I don’t belong to this relationship. I’m pulling away slowly, but now he comes along with all good vibes and is showing me a different version of himself.

It’s making me confused whether this new version is going to last or it’s just a passing breeze.

—Asantewaa

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