My mom’s death left me disoriented. I cried many times for many reasons. Apart from the love, the pain, and the fact that I was going to miss her, I also cried because I didn’t know how I was going to get the money to organize her funeral. My other siblings don’t have much going on for them. I’m a teacher, so they all looked up to me to provide the funds.

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When the time came, I tried my best, taking loans from here and there. My boyfriend promised to help buy the coffin, so he went around asking for prices and sending me pictures of coffins on display. I picked one, and he sent me the price. It was GHC 3,000. I told him it was too expensive, but he insisted that my mom deserved the best.

Later, we agreed to split the cost. I sent my share of the money to him to add to his portion. He then called to ask for transportation money to bring the coffin home, which amounted to GHC 500. I sent him the money. The day he was supposed to deliver the coffin came and went, but I didn’t see it. I was busy with other arrangements, so I trusted he would deliver as promised.

Five days before the funeral, there was still no coffin. The family started putting pressure on me to provide it. I called him and explained what the family was saying. He told me the carpenter had sold the coffin we bought because we hadn’t picked it up, so he was making a new one.

Every day, there was a new story. Two days before the funeral, he sent me a photo of a coffin being spray-painted. I asked him to show me where it was so I could come and see it, but he said, “Oh, don’t worry, I’m handling it.” Later that evening, he stopped answering my calls. I knew there was trouble. I confided in my uncle and sought his help. He advised me to tell my boyfriend not to bring the coffin because we had already bought a new one.

Thankfully, the funeral and burial were successful. My boyfriend was around, but he couldn’t come close to me. After everything was said and done, I asked him to recover the money since the coffin never arrived. I had trusted that he had given the money to the carpenter, and the carpenter had disappointed him, so I suggested he file a police report to arrest the carpenter.

It was during that moment that he confessed he had used the money to place a bet. He had been sure he would win, but unfortunately, he lost. My knees wobbled, and I couldn’t hold myself up anymore. I fell to the ground and cried, “Kojo, is this who you are? I thought you loved me.”

Marriage Through the Eyes of Millennials and Gen-Z

He promised to repay the money and indeed gave me GHC 1,000 at the beginning of the month. He said he would pay the rest at the end of the month, with interest. In his mind, we are still dating. What he doesn’t know is that I’m only waiting to collect my money before I bid him goodbye—before he decides to stake a bet with my kidney.

—Efia

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