My Boss Fired Me When He Found Out I Am Not ‘Normal’

Right from my fetal stage, I haven’t been ‘normal’. My cells didn’t develop like that of the ‘normal’ person. My parents who had incompatible genotypes chose love above prudence and conceived me; a child born with cells the shape of a sickle. The world calls my condition sickle cell. I have four siblings. Thankfully, they escaped nature’s punishment. All four of them have AA and AS genotypes. I am the problem child. The one who has given my parents sleepless nights. The one who has become well-acquainted with hospitals, doctors and medical terms.

I’ve endured so much isolation that I don’t know how to be comfortable in the company of others. My parents made sure I stayed indoors all the time. The only exceptions were school and church.

Even in school, I was exempted from participating in PE like the regular child. This was all in a bid to avoid any crisis or complications that came with sickle cell. But this was where my childhood trauma began. The isolation that will mar my life forever. I grew up socially awkward and lonely. But quiet, observant, resilient and witty.

I struggled through school. It was a battle between excelling in my academic work and fighting my old companion; the crisis that visited me periodically. I wrote exams with the painful crisis stabbing my joints and back. Reminding me that it was right here with me like an old friend. I have fought all my life. I have fought the depression that accompanies the uncertainty of the future. I have endured the reckless comments of uninformed and insensitive people who pass sly comments about my situation. Some of these people are even medical professionals.

I have learned to keep the condition hidden because most Ghanaians are not educated enough about it. If they are, they don’t care as long as they or a loved one doesn’t have it. Even in my immediate family, my condition is always the elephant in the room. My siblings don’t want me to mention it or talk about it. “Don’t spoil the mood,” they say.

For years, I have painstakingly constructed walls of strength and fortitude around me to fight away the negativity. But my boss’ recent gesture has broken me beyond words, and since I don’t have anyone to share with, I have decided to hide behind the blanket of anonymity to share my pain, so I can get some encouraging words to lighten up my day.

I had a crisis a few months ago. This was one of the severest I have endured in my life. I usually give the excuse that I’m ill anytime the crisis hits me. I never give specifics. Thankfully, I don’t look ill, and the few people I have told about my condition have shown surprise because I seem to have hidden it so well. I believe it’s God’s grace. I thought this particular crisis would just last a few days so that I could resume work like I always did. But it lasted for about a month. My mother advised me to tell my boss the exact problem.

I hate telling people about it because of some unpleasant experiences I’ve had in my past, but this was my employer, so I did as my mum had suggested. I called him and told him, “Boss, I have sickle cell and I am down with a crisis.” My boss told me, “Oh, I am so sorry to hear that. Take as much time as you need to recover. All the best.”

Thankfully, I got better and resumed work in the first week of July, only to be served a dismissal letter.

I may not have been this hurt if the reason for my dismissal was any other thing but my health.

He stated that the work environment may be too strenuous for someone with my condition. I sit behind a computer in an office. I don’t know what he means by strenuous. I have been doing this work for three years, right after my National Service. This same boss of mine has complimented me several times on my work ethic and punctuality. This was the first time I had missed a month of work in the past three years. Just when I told him about my condition, he fired me.

So yes, I’m gloomy and depressed. This condition seems to be there at every juncture of my life. In my conception. During every major exam of my life. It was there on Legon campus when I was so close to getting a first class but I had to settle for a Second Class Upper because a crisis emerged from nowhere and I missed several weeks of academic work, screaming in pain at the hospital while my mates were studying for IA and exams.

It was there when I went to the gym because I wanted to bulk up a little, but I was hit by a very severe crisis that I had to abandon another dream of bulking up. It hung around when I went to the beach with my old classmates. I had a crisis right after because of the cold water. It was the reason many teachers used derogatory words on me when they were told not to beat me because it could trigger a crisis.

Sickle cell was there in that hospital when a nurse told me during my crisis that I was exaggerating the pain. Those words hurt a lot. Even now, in my mid-twenties, it’s still here, destroying my stable job and throwing me into a state of depression.

It makes it difficult for me to open myself up to give love a chance because I’m worried I will be a burden to any woman who agrees to spend the rest of her life with me. It’s right here trying to limit me. Trying to tell me what I can and cannot do. It’s always here even when I try to forget about it.

After everything I have been through, I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone. So please, check your genotype and make sure you and your partner are compatible. Bringing a sickle cell child into this world is a punishment.

Also, if you know someone who has the condition, don’t pity them. We hate it. An old classmate, who happens to be a medical doctor told me, “I am sorry you have sickle cell.” I don’t need pity. It doesn’t help. Treat us normally. Just learn a little about the condition to help us when we need your help.

And to the parents here, if you have a sickle cell child, don’t isolate them. Allow them to go out and make friends, just supervise them. Sickle cell warriors can indulge in outdoor activities. It just needs to be done in moderation. My social life would have been different if my parents knew this.

You should understand that our mental health matters. It’s very easy to fall into depression when you have this condition. The crisis can be so painful sometimes. Other times, you may hear of the death of another warrior and it just depresses you. I can’t count the number of times I have been suicidal. Please be kind to others.

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Parents, guardians, teachers and other professionals who handle sickle cell children need to know that the crisis we go through is more severe than any punishment we may receive. Please be gentle and loving towards every warrior you come across. There are several ways of correcting a child. Being physically or verbally abusive to a sickle cell child adds trauma to the already traumatic condition.

Most importantly, if you’re a warrior reading this, you have to embrace delusional optimism. The odds seem to be against us, but we are tougher than we think. Read about the condition. Read about it through and through, and never stop reading. Doctors are always amazed about the depth of knowledge I possess on the condition. Learn to listen to your body and take care of yourself. Above all trust in God’s grace. I still believe in miracles although I have gone through a rollercoaster ride with religion, doubt and spirituality.

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Although I’m sharing this anonymously, this is the first time I have been able to open up a little about some of the struggles I have gone through because of this condition. I feel a little exposed and vulnerable because I’m not used to this.

But I need some words of encouragement right now because only God knows how much it hurts for this condition to limit you. If you are in perfect health, don’t take it for granted. Sometimes I wish therapy was a little cheaper and more accessible in this part of the world.

—Phoenix