We were friends at the university. She was an amazing young woman back then and the years have not changed that about her. She is beautiful, intelligent, and was academically gifted. I liked talking to her, spending time having fun with her, and studying with her. She was everything I needed in one person. With the kind of connection we had, I wasn’t surprised when I started developing feelings for her. It was even better when I got to know she was also into me. Needless to say, we graduated from friends to lovers.

Just as she was everything I needed in a friend, Pepsi was the full-package girlfriend. We had it all; friendship, incredible chemistry, and great sex. She is just so good at everything she does. Till now, I would say she is the best lover I have ever had. She liked doing the thing as much as I did. That was one thing that made it easier. She never withheld herself from me. Whenever I was in the mood, she would give it to me. When she wanted it, I satisfied her.

Our relationship continued throughout school. Unfortunately though, we had to end things after school due to distance. We tried to make it work but we were both finding our feet in life so other things like finding jobs and proving our worth at our jobs overtook our efforts to keep the long-distance relationship going.

A few years after our breakup, she went ahead and got married. I, on the other hand, have not been able to maintain a stable relationship after her. So I am single. The good thing is, we haven’t lost touch even though our relationship didn’t work out.

Pepsi and I have managed to keep our friendship and have recently gone on to become besties. We talk about everything and anything. She’s someone I always run to after I face some disappointments when it comes to women. Even when it has to do with work or family drama, I still go running to pour out my heart to her.

She knows me so well that I don’t have to explain myself too much when we are talking. She gets me every time. It’s been ten years since we ended things. We haven’t met during this period. All our conversations have been through WhatsApp and phone calls. It doesn’t make up for physical contact but I am perfectly content with it. I am just grateful that she is there for me when I am low and lonely.

Our relationship is a two-way street. She also confides in me about challenges in her life just as I do with her. One thing that runs through our discussions is her husband’s attitude toward intimacy. She says, “He barely gives me attention. He won’t sit down and ask me how my day went. We don’t share exciting moments like we used to. When it comes to the bedroom, he is always too tired or not in the mood.” Basically, she is sex-starved. She hasn’t stated it clearly but it’s apparent she is not happy in her marriage.

READ ALSO: When I Had A Miscarriage, I Learned To Miscarry My Marriage Too

When we talk and the subject of her marriage comes up, I try my best to encourage her to find joy in the little moments. Our friendship was working for us until Pepsi suggested we meet in person and hang out. Looking at the way things were between us when we were together, I am concerned that if we meet, it would lead to physical intimacy between us.

Silent Beads, the last thing I want to do is sleep with another man’s wife. I am content with being best friends with her on the phone only. To me, there’s absolutely no need for a meet-up. But she argues that we can be friends who meet in person without things getting sexual. “How long are we going to keep being virtual friends?” she asks every time I turn down her request to meet.


Now, my birthday is fast approaching. “I know you keep saying no when I suggest we hang out but come on, it’s your birthday. Let’s do something together to celebrate you.” I answered, “I want to see you but I don’t think it’s a good idea. I don’t want any ‘one thing led to another’ situation on my hands.” She assures me that nothing of the sort is going to happen.

Despite her assurances, we are humans. That’s why I am scared that our meeting might turn into an opportunity to satisfy her sexually. Which is something I don’t want to ever bring myself to do. “It’s been years. I am not attracted to you anymore,” she insists.

We both can’t agree on this subject. The only thing we have agreed on is that we should seek an objective opinion. That’s why we decided that I should bring the story here to this page to seek your views. Is meeting an ex who is now a best friend a good idea? Or a recipe for trouble?

— Trip

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