When my two-year-old relationship ended, I broke down completely. Nothing made me happy. Even my favourite food tasted sour in my mouth. I would wake up and cry a little before I pray. Before I go to bed, I’ll cry a little. I slept with the light on because I was scared the darkness will find its way into my heart and make my situation worse. Through it all, it was Alice who stayed by my side to tell me to look at the brighter side.

The two of us have been friends since friendship was created. We’ve been through everything, the thick, the thin, the not so thick and the not-so-thin. Think about every situation and the two of us have been through it before. She would come to my place after work and stay with me, fearing I might do something to myself. While I was coming out of a two-year relationship, she was going into a new relationship with Albert. We would talk about Albert all night just so we don’t stay silent.

One night, she came with Albert to my place and we went out together. She had already told Albert about my predicament so the two of them hatched the plan to take me out that night. Just to cheer my heart out and blow off the smoke hovering around my burning heart.

It was a beautiful night. For a moment, I forgot I was heartbroken. I got up and started dancing. Albert joined me. Alice sat there pressing her phone and once in a while looked at us dancing and gave us thumbs up. I went home relieved and for the first time, my heart didn’t feel heavy. Albert dropped me and Alice off at my place and drove away so I spent the night with Alice.

Alice said, “It looks very obvious that Albert likes you. It’s the first time seeing him dancing and the first time seeing him this happy around someone who isn’t me. I enjoyed looking at you both.”

This came from Alice so it was normal. My ex-boyfriend loved Alice too. When we had issues he spoke to Alice first. When we went out together, he was always closer to Alice. So it was normal in my ears to hear Alice say that. I responded, “He looks like a good guy. I pray he’s the one cos I love his energy.”

My friend’s boyfriend could be my friend too. We were like that and for several years we didn’t have a problem but it looks like something is different with this one.

One day Albert came to my place alone bearing gifts and time—time to spend with me. The first question I asked was, “Where’s Alice?” He answered, “She doesn’t even know I’m coming here. It’s supposed to be a surprise and if I told her, she would have foiled it.”

I looked at the things he brought. They were things I loved. They looked like someone I knew for so many years selected them for him. I texted Alice, “Albert is here with a lot of things. I suspect you. I see your hands in the selection process. Why are you not here with him.” She texted back, “I swear I didn’t know he was coming there. Believe me, I had no hand in anything.”

Albert stayed for over an hour talking about himself and where he was before he met Alice. He told me, “I’m happy I met her but knowing you’re her friend makes me happier.”

I wasn’t comfortable with the closeness and the conversations, especially when we were in the room alone. Most of the things he said were ambiguous. It smelled like an agenda to me so though we were in the same room, I tried creating a distance between us.

When he drove away, I called Alice. “What’s happening? Is there something I should know?” She answered, “Relax. That’s Albert for you. He wants you on his side just in case. That’s how I see it.”

Each time we went out together, Albert was with me holding my hands and caressing them as if I was his girlfriend. Alice didn’t react or showed anything that smelled of annoyance. He’ll sit next to me on a table and be all over me while Alice sits far away scrolling through her feed and acting not bordered. When I complained Alice told me, “Don’t act like a girl. You know what he’s saying through his actions so you decide.”

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All night I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking about Alice and her boy Alfred. “What’s going on that I don’t know? What are they saying with their actions and what are their answers insinuating?”

In the morning I called Alice to ask the meaning of what she told me and she said, “I don’t remember I said that. Maybe I was drunk or something.” Alice didn’t drink anything. She said what she said with lucid mind and clarity of thought but she denied it.

Albert will come to my place unannounced. He’ll come to our outings uninvited and sit next to me and be touchy. I would be looking at Alice, winking at her to draw her attention to what’s happening. She would only smile and later say, “He likes you and it’s obvious.”

At this moment I’m thinking things. I’ve thought of the worst-case scenario where Albert and Alice are drawing me into a threesome kind of game. It looks like that’s what’s happening but no one wants to open up about it.

One night, we stayed out until very late in the night. Albert came to drop us at my place and later decided he was also going to spend the night with us. I left my bed for them and slept on the sofa. They used the rest of the night trying to convince me to join them in the bed. I didn’t. I was resolute. Albert said, “Then I will have to leave. It looks like you’re not comfortable with me here.”

I didn’t give him an answer but he stayed. They slept together in the bed while I lay awake, confused and not knowing what to think.

No matter what happens I don’t want to lose my Alice. It’s the reason why I’m not able to hit hard on my suspicion. Sometimes I think I’m the one getting everything wrong. It’s all in my head kind of thing but everything comes alive when Albert is around me. Everything looks like the colour of my suspicion judging from the way Alice responds to my complaints.

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Should I start acting up and endanger our friendship? Should I hold Alice’s hand and run away with her and leave Albert behind? If what I’m thinking is true then it would be Albert’s idea so if I have to act, it should be in a way Albert would be off the scene. I’m confused and disturbed at the same time. Kindly tell me something.

—BiBi

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