He gave me a lift one early morning but before that, I knew him. I’d seen him several times at the junction leading to my house. I didn’t know where he specifically lived but I knew he was a resident in the vicinity. I knew he saw me too, often, but he never stopped for me. But that morning the weather wasn’t good. It looked like it was going to rain. The queue at the station was too long so I went to the roadside hoping I would get a taxi earlier. He stopped right in front of me and asked, “Where is your office? Is it along my route?”
I hopped into his car and he drove away. For a while we were quiet. Nothing to talk about and nothing to say to each other. I was on my phone chatting and he was busy on the steering wheel so we don’t crush. “So you come this far every morning?” I nodded my head. He continued, “It might be tiring I guess.” I responded, “Yeah it is but I don’t have any option.” He said, “Accra living. It’s tough for everyone. We all need special mental fortitude to be able to live here.” I agreed with him.
When we got to where I would alight I told him and he stopped. He asked, “What time do you usually close?” I told him and he said, “Take my number and call me when you close. I’ll see if I can come and pick you up so we go home.”
I didn’t call after work that day. I didn’t want to inconvenience him. I didn’t want to come across as a desperate woman who needs to be picked up by all means. The next morning he saw me by the roadside and he stopped. He asked why I didn’t call yesterday and I told him, “I didn’t close at the office. I went out to do some work so I closed in town.” I sat next to him and he drove off. This time we had a lot to say. He asked questions and I answered. He encouraged me to ask questions too and I did. By the time I got to the office, I knew his full name, his tribe, his work, and his position. I knew he wasn’t married too. For some reason, he kept stressing the fact that he was single. He said, “My last relationship was two years ago. I learned a very big lesson so I decided to remain single until further notice.”
I didn’t feel comfortable sharing my relationship life so I kept it to my chest. That evening, he called before 5pm to tell me he was at the spot he drops me off in the morning. “I’m here waiting for you. Let me know when you’re getting here.” I rushed through the rest of the day’s work and hurried to join him in the car. That evening he asked me, “Is it ok if I stopped somewhere for a while? We could sit and eat something before we get home.”
We sat, we ate, we drank and he proposed. I said no. He looked surprised. He asked me, “Any reason why?” I told him, “I’m not in a good frame of mind to date anybody at this moment. I won’t say give me time because I don’t know when I would be ready.” He smiled a little. There’s confidence behind that smile. He said, “I will wait. It won’t take forever, right? I will be here. Whenever you are ready, just let me know.” I told him, “Please don’t do that to yourself. How can you wait for someone who doesn’t know when she would be ready?” He replied, “When Jesus told us to prepare for his second coming, he didn’t add a date but we are here waiting because we know the time would come for him to arrive. Same here. I know the time would come for you to be ready. I want to be the one for you when you are ready.
When I got home that night, he called and we continued the conversation from where we left. From there, he called every morning and evening. He was put on a project at work and that changed everything. I wasn’t going to work with him in the morning because he had to leave earlier. I didn’t see him in the evening because he closed very late but each time he got to the house, he passed by my place to say hello. We were talking one night when he told me, I don’t like the way you struggle before you go to work. I will engage the services of a taxi driver for you. He would take you to work in the morning and bring you back in the evening. Do you think it’s a good idea?”
We all love honey. It’s sweeter when it falls in our mouth, especially when we don’t have to do anything to have it in our mouth. I said, “Do you have to do that?” He answered, “I have to. It’s my responsibility to ensure your safety and happiness. All these struggles you go through in the morning should be a thing of the past. He would come for you and bring you home until I’m done with the project and take over from there.”
It was a very nice taxi. 2021 registered with a driver who looked like a Pentecost church elder. He would come for me in the morning at exactly 6am. He was never later. At exactly 5pm, he would be in my office. He didn’t say much and didn’t do much apart from driving me to and fro. Every evening when I spoke to him, he asked me about the driver and his services. I told him, “He’s a five-star man. Never late and never early. He comes when he has to come.”
I used the taxi for a month and all the while assessing my man to see how good he would be as a boyfriend. I was measuring his emotional intelligence and assessing the power of his decision-making. Everything was on point. When one day he brought the proposal back to the table again, I said yes to him. We had been talking for over three months and he had provided the transportation services for me for about two months. What else could a man do to prove his worth? I fell for him and said yes to him. That day he asked a very important question that even increased my love for him. He asked, “So tell me. Where do we go from here now that you’ve said yes? What do you expect from me as your boyfriend?”
I didn’t have so much to say. I said, “Just be yourself. The self that I fell in love with. I don’t want you to change anything. Yeah, people change but I don’t expect you to change in a way that would affect the relationship.” We discussed sex too. I told him, “I can do it now or later. But I don’t want to rush it. It should happen because both of us are in the right place and are in the mood for it. I don’t have to force you to do it and you don’t have to force me too.” All was set for a full-blown relationship to take off.
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One evening he closed from work and came to my place. He tried to have his way with me. I said I wasn’t in the mood. He pushed for it but I insisted until he stopped. It happened the second time. He pushed for it and I said no, he should give us some time. He got angry and started accusing me of being stiff. “You want everything your way and that’s selfishness. What about me and what I like? Should it always be about you? You don’t care about me at all. My happiness doesn’t matter to you. It’s all about your happiness.” I didn’t fight him because I saw some sense in what he was saying. I apologized to him and told him I would do better.
The following morning, I dressed up and was waiting for the taxi man. I checked my time and it was 6:30am. “That’s so unlike him to be late.” I called his number and it was off. I called my boyfriend. He didn’t pick up. I walked to the roadside hoping I may meet the driver on the way. I didn’t. I took a taxi and went to work. I kept calling my boyfriend and he didn’t pick up. I sent him a text and he didn’t respond. At lunchtime, I called the taxi driver and it went through, I asked why he didn’t come and he said, “Master said I should stop coming for you. I thought you knew.”
I called my boyfriend all day and he didn’t pick up. In the evening I went to his place and saw him there. He said, “I asked him to stop coming. I’ve seen your tricks and it’s not the kind of trick I expected from a woman like you. They say if a woman loves you, she doesn’t waste your money. Do you know how much I pay the driver in a month? You don’t know because you don’t care. You’re only wasting my money. It looks like I’m the Mr. Otua—the one who pays. The one who eats is still there that’s why I always get a no from you. I’ve become wise. I’ve asked him to stop coming. I’m taking back my love. We are no longer in a relationship. Go to the one you think it’s worthy to eat.”
I thought he was just talking out of anger because of what happened the previous night. he was serious. He blocked my line and asked me not to come to his place again. I spent days apologizing but he never came back. Two months later, he’s back asking me to come back again. “I overreacted and I’ve seen my mistake. Please forgive me and let’s start afresh. I promise I would be better. I’m asking you. If you were in my shoes, would you have gone back?
—Bee
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From what you have shared, it appears that the guy is actually interested in having sex with you. If you give in to him, he will eventually be satisfied and leave you when he feels he is tired of you. Or perhaps he is thinking of getting something back for the money he spent on the taxi fare.
I advice that you prayerfully think about this and when you decide to give him a second chance, tell him that you will only allow sex when you both marry. Let him know that you do not want to waste time in a relationship when marriage is not in sight.
Wow. What a story. If I were in your shoes, I will take him back with the condition that we can do anything except sex. In that case you will be sure about whether he came back for your love or for sex. It’s never compulsory to engage in sexual activities when dating.
Please run for your life. A man who holds you rasom over a services he provided is totally not a husband material. He is in for a game. Relationship and marriage are not tit for tat. Is a mutual understanding.