My journey to find love began in 2017. I was in my final year preparing to write my WASSCE so I was determined not to get involved with any guy. My family had just moved to a new neighbourhood, and almost every guy in the neighbourhood was trying to get my attention. No matter how hard they came at me, I stood firm in my resolve not to date anyone.

There was this particular guy. His name is Robert. I liked him but when he proposed love to me, I turned him down. I told him, “My WASSCE is only a few months away. I want to write my exams in peace without anyone distracting me.” He didn’t get upset. Rather, he waited patiently for me to finish my exams.

After the exams, he came to me again wearing his heart on his sleeves. This time around, I was ready for him. I accepted his proposal and our love story began. Everything was beautiful. I felt like I was in heaven.

Before long, he started talking to another lady. I talked about it and he promised to stop. I believed he would honor his word so I let things slide.

Along the line, his mother got ill and his finances went down. He would ask me for money, and when I had it, I would give it to him. On days I didn’t have money, I stole from my parents for him. I loved him so much that I would have given him the world if it were mine to give. Besides, I wanted his mother to feel better.

His siblings knew I was dating him so whenever they had needs, they would come to me. And no matter what, I never turned my back on them. Unfortunately, all the money we spent couldn’t save his mother’s life. She passed away. At the time this happened, I was so broke that I couldn’t contribute anything toward the funeral. Nonetheless, the other lady he promised he would stop talking to gave him GHC2000. He needed the money so I couldn’t complain.

One day our mutual friend told this guy that among all his women, I am the one they would choose for him. “It’s because she has a kind and sweet spirit,” our friend explained. This guy told our friend, “When my mother was on her dying bed, she warned me not to allow anyone to choose a woman for me.” I was shocked when I heard that but I kept my cool. I even laughed it off as a joke.

As time went on, I got pregnant. I was about to go back to school when we found out. So we agreed to get rid of it. It was a horrible experience. We didn’t go to the hospital. He brought some concoctions and I drank it. I went to hell and came back. The way I bled, it was as if water was flowing from a tap. I was so sure that I would die, but thanks to the powers above that I survived.

It got to a point where I could no longer tolerate his cheating habits. I even knew some of the girls he was fooling around with. They didn’t know we were dating so they came to complain about him to me. I just had to leave him for whoever could stomach him to take over. In the end, he married someone with the intention that the lady’s parents are outside the country so they will one day travel abroad. I wish them well.

After him, I met Emmanuel. I had hopes  that after everything I went through with Robert, Emma was the one for me. He used to run a shop so I would go there to help him out. A few months into the relationship, I came into some money. I wanted to invest it in a business. Who better to talk to about my plans than my boyfriend?

Emma advised me, “Bring the money and let me buy a taxi for you. I will also get a driver who will use it to work and bring you the proceeds.” I didn’t have any reason to question his intentions toward my money. So I gave him the money. He bought the Taxi and showed it to me.

That one time I saw the taxi was the last time I saw it. It was like a movie. This guy started ghosting me. I would call him and he would ask, “Who is this?” I would patiently tell him my name and he would respond with, “Where are you calling from?”

As infuriating as it was, I had something to lose so I would take my time and describe myself to him. This guy would listen to everything I have to say and then respond with, “I don’t know anyone by that name and that description. You got the wrong number.” Every time I called, that’s how the conversation went.

I became very angry and bitter. I felt like I was losing my mind. My money was gone. I said a lot of things out of pain. One day my pastor called and said, “These days when I pray, I see you crying in the spiritual realm. Is everything okay?” At first, I told him I was okay, and that nothing was wrong with me.

Weeks later, he asked again if I was truly okay. It was then I told him the truth. He asked if I gave the money to Emma through mobile money so we would have evidence to make a complaint at the Police Station. I just said, “No, I gave him cash.” As heavy as it was, he advised me to give the money up. “Take it as though it’s missing.” What choice did I have? I let it go and moved on with my life.

Folks, months later I was in the house when I heard the news that Emma was involved in an accident. He was in a coma. I swear on the heavens above, that I was very happy. I couldn’t contain my joy. However, I had a change of heart when I realized he could lose his life. Then I prayed for his recovery.

His friends who knew what he did to me started calling me. They wanted to know if I was the one who did something to him. One person asked, “Are you sure you didn’t take him anywhere to juju him?” “Me? I had nothing to do with it,” I responded. Honestly, I was too busy trying to get my life back on track to attempt what they were accusing me of.

The guys suggested that I visit him with some fruits to prove that I had nothing to do with the accident. I told them that I would only go as far as visiting him. Buying him gifts with my money is where I draw the line. We scheduled a day for the visit but unfortunately, he passed away a day before the D day. My money is now gone forever.

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After all that ordeal, I started picking myself up little by little. Then I met someone new. He was going through a lot, especially when it came to his finances. My Godfather was taking care of me so I didn’t have any problem with money. Because of this, I extended a helping hand to this guy I was dating.

Anytime he asked me for something and I didn’t have it, I would go and borrow money for him. One day I was there when he called and started talking plenty. “I don’t know what you do for money or where you get the money you’ve been sending me from, but I am concerned.” He then proceeded to send me some HIV/AIDS statistics. So he thought I was sleeping around and bringing him the money.

I’ve Thought About How To Blame God

He really got on my nerves so I gave him my piece of mind and left him. Now, he is in my DM asking for another chance. I told him, “I don’t hold any grudges against you but I cannot take you back.”

At this point in my life, I have seen and felt “shege” in the hands of men. I no longer want to be with a man. Sometimes, I think about dating someone of the same sex. Maybe being a lesbian will save me from another heartbreak.

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—Ginny

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