I was invited to a church conference on Christmas Eve in 2003 by an elderly woman in my cousin’s church. It was during that conference that I became born again and later got baptized. I was just twenty years old and had completed SHS the year before.

After that conference, I started attending my cousin’s church. I met a group of young men who adopted me into their group. One of them is called Kwaku, I was closest to him. I enjoyed his company because of his sense of humour. Kwaku could turn any situation into something to laugh about. He knew how to lighten even the darkest rooms. That’s why we got along very well. 

Another one of the guys is called JJ. He and I dated for a couple of months but it didn’t work out. The relationship was getting intense and that scared me so I ended things. After the breakup, we maintained our friendship and things were not awkward or uncomfortable for the group. The third guy in the group is called Josh. This guy treated the whole Christianity thing as though it was the world cup. He was our age but he acted with more maturity than any of us did. Because of his behaviour, the church elders entrusted him with a lot of responsibilities. I always saw him as uptight so I barely spoke to him. We hang out together but the only words we exchanged were “Hello… Hi” or “Bye … See you later”.

Josh was very knowledgeable in the things of God and everyone knew it. He was also Godfearing. I remember there was a time when something happened between some members of the church youth. A meeting was held to resolve the issue. Josh showed up for the meeting but didn’t say a word. He observed us as if we were a bunch of kids, and then got up and walked away. I was annoyed. “Who does this guy think he is? Walking among us as if he is better than us. Mtcheew.” I mused. His responsible demeanour was in contrast to my young and free personality. Whenever we gathered as friends to chat and crack jokes, Josh would be busy taking care of God’s work. I often thought, “This guy is so boring. He is always busy doing church work.” 

Along the line, I went into a relationship with a guy named Yaw who was ten years older than me. He was not in my church. He worked with my grandfather’s company and that’s how we met. He told me, “You should know that I am a father. I have a baby with my ex but that’s just it. There’s nothing going on between us.” I believed him but I don’t think his baby mama understood that. She came to my house a few times to embarrass me, “Leave my fiancé alone, I am warning you. Can’t you see that we have a child together?” I loved Yaw so I endured whatever insults she rained on me. One day she and her friends cornered me and almost beat me up. Fortunately, someone passed by that route and rescued me. After all my troubles, Yaw married another woman and left me broken-hearted. 

In 2008, some of our age mates started getting married. Most of us were around twenty-five, and twenty-six. The older people in the church were doing their best to encourage us to marry young. It was during one of those meetings that a woman in my church turned to Josh; “Joshua, I think you and Trish will be a good match. Have you thought about making your move?” I was shocked when I heard her say that. She then turned to me and said, “Trish, you and Josh should try and get together.” I laughed out loud and walked away. The entire time I was thinking, “Me, marry Joshua? Nooo. Ah this woman paaa, how could she think like that? This Joshua guy hardly talks to anyone.” 

From there, I met Ben who was also not in my church. We lived in different regions so it was a long-distance relationship. We dated for a few months until I gained admission to study in the U.K. By the time I got my documents ready and travelled in 2009, my relationship with Ben ended. 

I tried a couple of relationships while I was in London and one of them almost led to marriage. It was with Patrick, a biracial guy I loved dearly. I thought my heart would burst with happiness when he asked me to marry him. We even registered with the Council waiting to receive the date for our court wedding. For some unknown reason, they refunded our booking fee for the wedding. This delayed our plans for marriage and eventually, the relationship fizzled out. 

On 31st  December 2013, everyone was in a festive mood. The new year was a few hours away and the excitement and anticipation in the air were so heavy. I told myself, “This is my fourth year in London. I have to do something special to celebrate the new year.” So I decided that I would go to London Bridge and join the crowd of people who gather there every year to welcome the new year. I went out that day and found myself in a sea of cheers and hurrays. When Big Ben struck midnight, there was a flurry of fireworks and festivities. I enjoyed the scene as I welcomed the year 2014. At that moment, I felt deep in my soul that my life was going to change drastically in the year. 

On Saturday of new year’s week, I woke up feeling restless and lonely. A voice in my head told me, “Pray about marriage.” By then I was thirty years old and I had been single for over a year. I had written off the possibility of love or marriage until I heard that voice. I spent the greater part of the day praying as led by the spirit. Later in the day, I decided to check my email. One of the messages that caught my attention was a mail from Joshua, the guy in my church back in Ghana. It was my first time hearing from him in years. So I was surprised but what surprised me more was the content of his message. It was simple. 

“Hi, Trish how are you? I deem it very important to pen you these words. I do not know how to start but I want to be very frank with you. For the past seven years, I have been waiting for the opportunity to tell you how much I love you. That’s right. Trish, I love you and I want to marry you. Now that I have told you, my conscience will let me rest. Kindly let me hear from you as soon as possible. 

 Yours, Josh.” 

I read the message repeatedly, feeling confused. I didn’t know how to respond but I thought “Wow that was so quick, God. I just finished praying about marriage and the next minute there is a marriage proposal waiting for me.“ I understood at that moment that Josh was God’s choice for me. I took some time to pray about him and felt this peace within.  

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After praying, I got in touch with him and I started getting to know him beyond what I already knew about him. We didn’t waste time in starting the marriage preparations. From January 2014 when he proposed via email to June 2014 when I arrived in Ghana, he had gone to see my family and performed the knocking rites. He also notified the court of our marriage arrangements. And we got married the next month, July 2014.    

After our wedding, he told me; “When I was in training college, I prayed fervently about you. I had always admired you and I asked God to give you to me as a wife. After training college, people asked me about my girlfriend, and I always told them that she is in London. Even before I proposed to you, all my friends knew that you were my girlfriend.” I laughed and said, “So you are the reason all my relationships have failed to this point?” He reminded me of a moment, “Do you remember that a week before you travelled, I visited you at home? I told you that sometimes if you love something, you have to set it free. Eventually, it will find its way back to you. That was me trying to tell you how I felt about you but your heart was so far away from me so you didn’t get the message.”

By the Lord’s mercy, we’ve been married for eight years with two children. These past years have surely come with their own challenges as well as their blessings. Josh has become my best friend and so much more. His love for our family and the way he goes to extra lengths to provide for us is a song I will sing for ages. I believe that he is the man he is because he fears God above all things. Through his support, I was able to answer God’s call in my life. Today, I have the grace to preach the gospel and bring men to God’s kingdom.

I am sharing this story to wish our marriage a happy 8th anniversary, and to wish my husband a happy 39th birthday. Our family is so blessed to have you, Josh. Thank you for allowing yourself to be used by God to be the best man we know. 

—Trish

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