On the 18th January 2021, a guy sent me a message in my dm. He asked, ”Which JHS did you attend, please?  You look quite familiar.” That question got my attention so I answered him immediately. After my response, I realized I wasn’t the person he thought I was. He sent me his number. He said, “Why don’t you give me your number too so we chat sometimes on Whatsapp?” I hesitated. He insisted. I gave him my number. I went through his profile but didn’t get any information about him. He had two photos and nothing about where he worked or lived. Later, he told me he had been living in the UK for a long time.”

We started talking on Whatsapp, long enough for me to grow fond of him. I asked questions about himself and he answered. He told me he was a doctor and pursuing his specialty. He told me he would complete school in October 2021. I told myself; ”Thank you God for answering prayers. You didn’t just bring a handsome man my way. He’s a doctor too. You work in mysterious ways indeed.” He hadn’t proposed yet but I was already thanking God for the proposal he was going to make in the future. 

One day he asked me to send him my photos and I did. He said, “So you mean all this beauty is for nothing? No boyfriend?” I smiled. I said in my head, “We are getting there slowly.” I told him, “I’m in a complicated relationship right now. Nothing seems to be moving for us. I see a breakup coming very soon.” It was true. My boyfriend then was giving me problems. He stopped being the guy I fell for so I was looking for a better reason to jilt him. He went out of my life and came back with nothing but excuses. I was only waiting for a better day to shut the door in front of him.

I asked about him too and he swore he was single. He said he had been single for two years. Something didn’t sound right. I could smell untruth in the way he spoke about his life but I believed him anyway. He said, “I have women who are dying to be my girlfriends but I’m not looking for a girlfriend at this stage of my life. I want a wife—a woman who could easily be my wife.” He said, “Why don’t you give me one of your friends?” I told him, “All my friends are engaged.” I pushed him, “I’m available, don’t you like me?” He said, “I thought you said you were in a relationship?” I responded, “Yes I am but overtaking is allowed.” Before I could say jack, we were in a relationship.

The love was fun for just two weeks. Afterward, I had to do a lot of work before he could talk to me. I couldn’t call him unless I texted him and asked for permission first. He started giving me constant excuses as to why he wasn’t able to get in touch. I felt something was wrong somewhere but I kept my cool. I felt our relationship was too young to begin to suffer. He became relaxed. Unbothered. I would call or text him and he would not respond until days later.

The second week in March 2021, he came to Ghana but didn’t tell me. He said he wanted it to be a surprise. He visited me, the connection was so strong. I had butterflies when I hugged him and we kissed. He later told me about an amount of money he needed to give to a certain pastor to be able to claim their family gold. He said, “I even came with a lot of gifts for you. Unfortunately, I left them in Accra, so you would have to come for them. Prepare to spend some days with me when you come around.” Again, he promised to send me money which never came. A day after he left, he called to tell me I should help him with a loan. I told him, “You know I’m not working. How am I supposed to get that money from?” 

He asked me to ask some friends which I did. None of them was able to give me. I tried all I could to get him the money but all my efforts yielded no fruit. He got disappointed when he realized I wasn’t able to raise the money. He withdrew from me. When the time came for me to travel to Accra to see him, he told me, “I don’t have the money to accommodate you and the way things are going, we might not be able to meet again until I leave for the UK.” 

 I got worried. In fact, I wanted to see him again before he finally leaves for the UK so I called and asked if he meant it when he said I wasn’t going to see him again before leaving. He said, “If you want to see me that desperately, then buy me fuel. If you do, I will drive to your place as soon as possible.” I was so shocked all the feelings I had for him left me. That very evening he called my phone. He asked me, What are you doing?” I said, “I’m in bed.” He said, “Should I come and join you?” 

I didn’t take him seriously. I knew it was one of his usual tricks. He called me a few hours later and told me he was at my junction so I should come and meet him. I was bemused. I thought it was April fool. I told him the main gate was locked and the landlord was keeping the keys.  He asked what we were going to do. I told him there was nothing I could do since it was too late. He got furious and hung up the call.   

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The next day he called and said, “I don’t think you will ever see me again, trust me. And I won’t forgive you for making me drive all the way from Accra to Kumasi risking my life for nothing.” I knew he was telling lies. Just because I said I couldn’t meet him, he was making things up to sweeten his case.

At this point, I didn’t care any longer. I was sick and tired of his tricks and I was ready to let everything go. but the whole episode of this relationship got me thinking. Was he in my life to swindle me? If I gave him that money, would he have been faithful to me? Or he was just in to have sex? How things started and ended swiftly with him makes me wonder a lot.  But you go to his Facebook feed and all he posts about are bible quotations and Christian scriptures. I checked on him today and I realized he had blocked me on Facebook, on Messenger, and on WhatsApp too. 

I don’t miss anything. I’ve rather learned to observe the red flags and act accordingly most importantly, I couldn’t myself lucky for not falling prey to whatever plans he hatched against me. 

—Mabz

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