I noticed my wife wasn’t wearing her ring. At first, I didn’t ask any questions, but after observing for a while, I decided to ask her about it. She told me her finger had outgrown the ring, so she had to remove it. I suggested she take it to a jeweller to have it resized and made a little bigger. She agreed but did nothing about it.

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A month later, I asked her again, and she said she hadn’t had time to take it in. I knew she was making excuses, so I asked her to give me the ring. We searched everywhere but couldn’t find it. All the places she claimed to have left the ring were thoroughly checked, but it was nowhere to be found.

I bought her a cheap replacement to use in the meantime while I saved up to get her a new one. She wore it for a few days and then stopped. She complained that it was rusting. I inspected the ring and found no rust. She then said it was too cheap and she was embarrassed to wear it, so she decided to set it aside until I could buy her a better one.

It took me a couple of months, but I managed to buy her a new ring—one of the same quality as the one she had misplaced. I thought the issue was resolved, but a few months later, I noticed she wasn’t wearing the ring again. She explained that she had taken it off while washing and forgot to put it back on.

I was irritated because that was how she had lost the first ring. “Rings are meant to be worn. What’s wrong with you and your ring?” I said. She put it back on, but a few weeks later, I saw her walking in the bushes behind the house, looking at the ground and kicking things with her feet. I asked what she was doing, and she replied, “Looking for my ring.”

“How? How did your ring end up there?”
“After washing today, I realized it was no longer on my finger. It might have fallen into the laundry water I threw away.”

I joined the search. We left no stone unturned—checking under leaves, sticks, and pebbles—but we couldn’t find the ring. We’d been married for just over two years, and she had already misplaced two expensive rings. This time, I wasn’t going to tolerate it. I told her, “I’m not spending a single pesewa on a new ring. You’ll have to buy it yourself.”

She agreed to buy it, but six months later, there was still no ring. She said she was saving up. I offered to contribute to what she had saved so we could buy the ring together, but she refused, saying, “I don’t need your help. You said I should buy it, and I will.”

Now, she walks around without a ring, and I hate seeing her like that. Since she wasn’t buying the ring, I decided to stop giving her housekeeping money until I could save enough from it to buy a new one. I knew it was harsh, but I felt something had to give.

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It’s been a month now, and we fight every day. Sometimes she cooks, and sometimes she doesn’t. I don’t care. My priority is saving enough to buy a new ring before I resume giving her money.

Am I going too far? I’m doing this so she’ll learn to take better care of her ring. If she has to work hard to replace it, maybe she’ll learn to protect it.

—Andrew

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